1.First thing you wash in the shower? hair.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? grey. :)
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? f-ck yes.
4. Do you plan outfits? i think abt them for special occaisions... but otherwise, no.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? little lonely.
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? wine.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having: i told alex. that was enough.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? nope. never left the house.
9. What are you craving right now? company.
10. Do you floss daily? nope. flossing hurts.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? food.
12. Are you emotional? quite.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? nope.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick. it hurts my teeth otherwise.
15. Do you like your hair? most days.
16. Do you like yourself? see above.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? if he paid and he didn't poison me, yes.
18. What are you listening to right now? myself type and think.
19. Are your parents strict? to a fault.
20. Would you go sky diving? YES.
21. Do you like cottage cheese? major negative.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? a few.
23. Do you rent movies often? negative. i have 50 movie channels, what for?
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? of course. i'm a child. i like shiny shit.
25. How many countries have you visited? 5
26. Have you made a prank phone call? a few.
27. Ever been on a train? yes.
28. Brown or white eggs? neither. they're all nasty.
29. Do you have a cell-phone? definitely.
30. Do you use chap stick? i use lip balm.
31. Do you own a gun? no. wish i did though.
32. Can you use chop sticks? yes.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? its me and vivi right now.
34. Are you too forgiving? far too forgiving.
35. Ever been in love? yea. a few times. i'm a lover. i probably always will be.
36. What is/are your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? hmmm... well... one's at home, stay-cationing, one's got a final, one's working all day like he always does, and one's working all day... like she always does. :)
37. Ever have cream puffs? nope.
38. Last time you cried? i can't remember, probably last weekend.
39. What was the last question you asked? i can't remember..
40. Favorite time of the year? fall. right after the summer's gone and it's just starting to get crispy out.
41. Do you have any tattoos? yepp.
42. Are you sarcastic? quite.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? yes. that movie is trippy.
44. Ever walked into a wall? lls.
45. Favorite color? black, gray, pink... and musically, i love green.
46. Have you ever been slapped by someone? nope.
47. Is your hair curly? quite!
48. What was the last CD you bought? either wale or ledesi
49. Do looks matter? yes and no. yes because i'm superficial, no because if you met my standards we wouldn't be having this discussion.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? yes. i'm forgiving, and i have full faith in the fact that when people truly care, they put the needs of others ahead of their own.
51. Is your phone bill sky high? its pretty ridiculous.
52. Do you like your life right now? its awesome. finally falling into place. yepp... now to capitalize and not let things just pass me by while i sit idle.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? yes. on purpose.
54. Can you handle the truth? not necessarily well, but i can always handle the truth better than i handle a lie.
55. Do you have good vision? aside from the need for weak reading glasses, yes.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? i don't hate anyone. hate is love manifested through anger, and if i can't show you that i love you in any way other than anger, i want nothing to do with it or you... all that being said, i don't hate. i could care less.
57. How often do you talk on the phone? mmmmm depends.
58. The last person you held hands with? mmmm. km. and he held me too. it was like that. ;)
59. What are you wearing? pjs. its like... almost dawn.
60. Do you like being "tagged" in these type of things? enh. gives me something to do.
61. Where was your profile picture taken? in my old apt. i missssss living downtown.
62. Can you hula hoop? not eeeeven.
63. Do you have a job? yes! for the first time in a long time i can say i only have one job and it is freaking awesome.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? a drink.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window? lol. :)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Love You from Afar
By Mastin Kipp
The pain of leaving you is hot
It burns like the fire of Hell
And feels like it will last forever
Oh your mirror is so clear
In you, I see myself
And I have for years
Now I must go on my way
Break free from the habits of our past
And embrace a new kind of strange
Reality, that of living from my center
Instead of living with you as my center
I am so happy for this time we've spent
Irritating the darkness within each other
And cleansing our lenses, so our light can shine
Even brighter
I will love you always in my heart
And my soul is always there
Like a bright shining star
But my presence, my friend
Will be at a distance indeed
But I'll still love you from afar
By Mastin Kipp
The pain of leaving you is hot
It burns like the fire of Hell
And feels like it will last forever
Oh your mirror is so clear
In you, I see myself
And I have for years
Now I must go on my way
Break free from the habits of our past
And embrace a new kind of strange
Reality, that of living from my center
Instead of living with you as my center
I am so happy for this time we've spent
Irritating the darkness within each other
And cleansing our lenses, so our light can shine
Even brighter
I will love you always in my heart
And my soul is always there
Like a bright shining star
But my presence, my friend
Will be at a distance indeed
But I'll still love you from afar
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
dear world: gimme some head.
and there it is:
sitting right here in front of my face.
i see it, ready to take off.
like a rocket, ready to venture into the universe.
but this is cape canaveral.
and if they say we can't go, we can't go.
no houston, we don't have a fucking problem.
why can't i just take off?
i don't wanna tell you how i feel, bc it might hurt your feelings.
but i just wanna take off.
i'd tell the world to suck my dick,
but they'd prolly enjoy it.
try and make their lipstick smear,
just so my girl could see it and ask me
"who's been down here?"
the world's just been blowing my cock,
and blocking my cock,
and won't let me take off.
it doesn't make sense how much i need to get it out,
and i don't wanna stand on these bricks of ill-understanding.
that shit is just compacted sand, and it melts in the heat.
but sand is useful.
burn it, and it makes glass.
press it, and it makes bricks.
two of the main things you need to build a house.
but this shit needs a good foundation.
so go press me some sand, and make me some bricks, world.
and after you do that,
go blow me some glass, world.
i'm finna take off world, i'll see you next year.
and when i see you again, i'm gonna put my dick back in your mouth,
and you better not let your lipstick smear.
sitting right here in front of my face.
i see it, ready to take off.
like a rocket, ready to venture into the universe.
but this is cape canaveral.
and if they say we can't go, we can't go.
no houston, we don't have a fucking problem.
why can't i just take off?
i don't wanna tell you how i feel, bc it might hurt your feelings.
but i just wanna take off.
i'd tell the world to suck my dick,
but they'd prolly enjoy it.
try and make their lipstick smear,
just so my girl could see it and ask me
"who's been down here?"
the world's just been blowing my cock,
and blocking my cock,
and won't let me take off.
it doesn't make sense how much i need to get it out,
and i don't wanna stand on these bricks of ill-understanding.
that shit is just compacted sand, and it melts in the heat.
but sand is useful.
burn it, and it makes glass.
press it, and it makes bricks.
two of the main things you need to build a house.
but this shit needs a good foundation.
so go press me some sand, and make me some bricks, world.
and after you do that,
go blow me some glass, world.
i'm finna take off world, i'll see you next year.
and when i see you again, i'm gonna put my dick back in your mouth,
and you better not let your lipstick smear.
Friday, July 24, 2009
note to world:
I have a deep love for aneasha. the unconditional kind. I know we're talking every day right now and its nothing but love. but if something were to happen and we never got to speak again, I'd still love her. prolly a bit more than most. no details, its too personal. but true none the less. 
'tis all.
'tis all.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
behold a lady.
a real woman is a lady in the streets, and leaks in her sheets.
you don't doubt her sexual prowess. you don't ask her questions until its over.
you just let her do her thing.
when you finish, you only ask her how the hell she got that great.
not that you truly want to know, you just want to put an emphasis on how good she was
without bending your ego to fit.
but its damn good.
and she got you thinking abt wife-ing her just off that one performance.
you know, like young chris said:
"i think i might wife her. you know, powder blue roc-a-wear suit, white nike her."
but instead, you let her speak for herself.
cause when you think you know her, you don't.
and you're not mad when she shows you the door,
cause she's gotta work in the morning, and you'll keep her up all night.
and it takes sleep to keep that beauty up.
a lady in the street, but she leaks in her sheets.
let you tell it, and it's all your fault.
but let her tell it, and it's all her fault.
you think you make her leak, but that's her that makes her skeet.
she knows herself, inside and out.
don't let her demure attitude fool you, she knows how good she is.
all that bending, twisting, and gyrating, she doesn't do it just for you.
she does it for her
because she gets off on getting you off,
and getting herself off gets you off.
so it works out for everyone.
just tell her how good it is, so you can stroke her big ego.
and then she can stroke you... and your ego.
she can stroke it better, bc you you always get it wetter.
and the curve of your... let's just say it fits perfectly in her...
and you love it. so does she.
so you're not opposed when she shows you the door, bc she has to work in the morning.
as soon as she gets home, you're welcome back
to do it all over again.
because she's a lady in the streets,
and leaks in her sheets.
and she's just happy you're there to witness it.
you don't doubt her sexual prowess. you don't ask her questions until its over.
you just let her do her thing.
when you finish, you only ask her how the hell she got that great.
not that you truly want to know, you just want to put an emphasis on how good she was
without bending your ego to fit.
but its damn good.
and she got you thinking abt wife-ing her just off that one performance.
you know, like young chris said:
"i think i might wife her. you know, powder blue roc-a-wear suit, white nike her."
but instead, you let her speak for herself.
cause when you think you know her, you don't.
and you're not mad when she shows you the door,
cause she's gotta work in the morning, and you'll keep her up all night.
and it takes sleep to keep that beauty up.
a lady in the street, but she leaks in her sheets.
let you tell it, and it's all your fault.
but let her tell it, and it's all her fault.
you think you make her leak, but that's her that makes her skeet.
she knows herself, inside and out.
don't let her demure attitude fool you, she knows how good she is.
all that bending, twisting, and gyrating, she doesn't do it just for you.
she does it for her
because she gets off on getting you off,
and getting herself off gets you off.
so it works out for everyone.
just tell her how good it is, so you can stroke her big ego.
and then she can stroke you... and your ego.
she can stroke it better, bc you you always get it wetter.
and the curve of your... let's just say it fits perfectly in her...
and you love it. so does she.
so you're not opposed when she shows you the door, bc she has to work in the morning.
as soon as she gets home, you're welcome back
to do it all over again.
because she's a lady in the streets,
and leaks in her sheets.
and she's just happy you're there to witness it.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
the grown people survey.
(1) Is there anyone on your friends list you would have sex with?
moving right along...
(2) Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
mmmm morning sex. nooner sex. right before bed sex. i love sex.
(3) Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
nahh.
(4) Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
lol. negative.
(5) Shower or bath while having sex?
i always wanted to do it in the shower.
(6) Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
aggressive. extra aggressive. mmhmm. sexy.
(7) Do you love someone in your friends list?
yes. completely. possibly more than my own self.
(8) Love or Money?
i've got plenty of love... money would be nice.
(9) Credit cards or cash?
cards.. i hate paper.
(10) Have you ever wanted a best friend?
i have a best friend. a few even.
(11) Camping or a 5 star hotel?
hotel! hollerr.
(12) Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
hmmm... it's up for discussion.
(13) Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
i have. its not beneath me.
(14) Have you ever been to a strip club?
yes because i was there. no because i was too drunk to remember.
(15) Ever been to a bar?
see above.
(16) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
nope!
(17) Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
lol. that is effing hilarious.
(18) Had sex in a movie theater?
nope. i don't know that i'm willing.
(19) Had sex in a bathroom?
yes.
(20) Have you ever had sex at work?
...does while i was on break count?
(21) Ever been to an adult store?
at one point, it was a frequent thing.
(22) Bought something from an adult store?
see above.
(23) Have you been caught having sex?
no! i'm slick with it.
(24) Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
sigh... no comment.
(25) Ever had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?
not once. i'm usually pretty in tune with the sexual experience i'm having. and i'm not going to mentally put someone else in your place when you just suck at it.
(26) Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
whoever reads it and feels like posting it.
moving right along...
(2) Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
mmmm morning sex. nooner sex. right before bed sex. i love sex.
(3) Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
nahh.
(4) Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
lol. negative.
(5) Shower or bath while having sex?
i always wanted to do it in the shower.
(6) Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
aggressive. extra aggressive. mmhmm. sexy.
(7) Do you love someone in your friends list?
yes. completely. possibly more than my own self.
(8) Love or Money?
i've got plenty of love... money would be nice.
(9) Credit cards or cash?
cards.. i hate paper.
(10) Have you ever wanted a best friend?
i have a best friend. a few even.
(11) Camping or a 5 star hotel?
hotel! hollerr.
(12) Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
hmmm... it's up for discussion.
(13) Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
i have. its not beneath me.
(14) Have you ever been to a strip club?
yes because i was there. no because i was too drunk to remember.
(15) Ever been to a bar?
see above.
(16) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
nope!
(17) Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
lol. that is effing hilarious.
(18) Had sex in a movie theater?
nope. i don't know that i'm willing.
(19) Had sex in a bathroom?
yes.
(20) Have you ever had sex at work?
...does while i was on break count?
(21) Ever been to an adult store?
at one point, it was a frequent thing.
(22) Bought something from an adult store?
see above.
(23) Have you been caught having sex?
no! i'm slick with it.
(24) Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
sigh... no comment.
(25) Ever had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?
not once. i'm usually pretty in tune with the sexual experience i'm having. and i'm not going to mentally put someone else in your place when you just suck at it.
(26) Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
whoever reads it and feels like posting it.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
just thoughts.
- i don't usually like the nba, but i've been fairly engulfed in these playoffs. but dammit, these refs are ruining it for me. if the finals ends up being lakers v. magic... i'm gonna flip my shit. bad series in the making, i can feel it.
- i love morning sex. i wish i got morning sex every morning. i could live with morning sex all the rest of my days. i'm not saying that sex needs to be on a schedule, but i am saying that being gently awakened by slow, smooth, wonderfully pleasant sex.
- i also love being lightly awakened to someone cuddling me. i cuddled last night, and it felt so good. so, so good. i wanna snuggle up close to him, and watch a real movie. just with his hand on my back or on my side... no, really, i just like his hands on me. and i want them to stay on me forever.
- i think he's the one. not just the one, but the One. dammit... :)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
mmmm that was refreshing.
Ten things you wish you could say to 10 different people (don't list names):
1. i love you more than i could ever account for. i wish that we could be so much closer than we are... i'm ready. i have been. you're amazing. i can't imagine my life without you. and you feel so much more real every time i'm with you. i just want you to touch me and make me smile... not that you can't do that with major ease.
2. i wish we talked more... but all you do is complain, and i actually try really hard to stay away from that energy. it really irritates me actually. you're the best but damn... fall back with that.
3. i can't wait to see how much further our relationship is going to go. you're the best! mexican is the fucking best with you. :)
4. i can't wait until you realize i can be the best you ever had. i can be the best you'll ever have if you let me. i respect that you want to keep your life's ills away from me, but i want to be there for you. i really do. so just let me get closer, and i promise i won't hurt you.
5. you play these fucking games little boy, and i want you to grow the fuck up. all i ever asked you to be was honest with me, and in that fucking hood term "keep it 100%". i kept the g code for your stupid ass, but you can't even give me that. i'm not asking you for shit, i'm just asking you to do what you say you're going to do... you said it, just follow up. damn... i hope you get it right for the next girl.
6. i don't love you anymore... and i'm glad i don't. i lost the ring you gave me.. and up until today, i felt horrible about it. now... i lost it a long time ago, but i lost you a long time ago too. except now, i'm ready to finally let it go.
7. i'll never forget the things you said about me or the things you did to me... i can't. and i won't. i'm over it, and i hope to no end that your life is wonderful, i just don't want to be apart of it. you are fake, and i do believe you will get everything that's coming to you, but none the less.. i hope it doesn't hurt you half as much as you hurt me.
8. i love you girl. lemme get a GB!
9. thanks for helping me come to the realization that everything i do is a choice, and you will always be there for me. thank you so much.
10. the way you make me feel is indescribable. i know its love, but i know its more. our relationship is so subtle, but obvious.. and i love the way it layers more than anything. you are so much to me... and your heart is home.. let me come back.
Nine things about yourself:
1. i truly am a happy person. too many things have gotten in the way of that, but its true, i am.
2. music is the only thing that never lets me down.
3. i can't be had... but if you asked me, i'd allow myself to be taken.
4. i'm so happy right now. and it's so real.
5. my spirituality is real, even if it's just to me. i love it. keeps me so balanced.
6. everything in my life happens for a reason.
7. choices made are what have made my life what it is.
8. my circle is the best in the world.
9. i'm the best person you'll ever meet. ever. don't try to convince me otherwise.
Eight ways to win your heart:
1. hold my hand... without me asking
2. push me to my limits, but never beyond, unless i ask.
3. give me the space i ask for.
4. honesty is always the best policy.
5. spontaneity is the spice of life.
6. remind me that you are very much aware of my presence, not just in the world, but in your life as well.
7. play in my hair.
8. make music with me.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. my person.
2. the future.
3. how to make good vibes.
4. traveling.
5. music.
6. partying.
7. money.
Six things you wish you never had to do:
1. fail.
2. cry.
3. long for...
4. toil.
5. encounter set backs.
6. feel negative vibes.
Five turn offs:
1. ugly teeth.
2. liars.
3. robots.
4. bad music.
5. complainers.
Four turn ons:
1. physical, emotional, and mental strength.
2. gentle touches.
3. honesty.
4. musical inclination.
Three wishes for your future:
1. prosperity.
2. a-perfect-for-my-life partner.
3. bookoo money.
Two things you want to do before you die:
1. sing you life.
2. free myself from all pain.
One emotion as of right now:
1. refreshed.
1. i love you more than i could ever account for. i wish that we could be so much closer than we are... i'm ready. i have been. you're amazing. i can't imagine my life without you. and you feel so much more real every time i'm with you. i just want you to touch me and make me smile... not that you can't do that with major ease.
2. i wish we talked more... but all you do is complain, and i actually try really hard to stay away from that energy. it really irritates me actually. you're the best but damn... fall back with that.
3. i can't wait to see how much further our relationship is going to go. you're the best! mexican is the fucking best with you. :)
4. i can't wait until you realize i can be the best you ever had. i can be the best you'll ever have if you let me. i respect that you want to keep your life's ills away from me, but i want to be there for you. i really do. so just let me get closer, and i promise i won't hurt you.
5. you play these fucking games little boy, and i want you to grow the fuck up. all i ever asked you to be was honest with me, and in that fucking hood term "keep it 100%". i kept the g code for your stupid ass, but you can't even give me that. i'm not asking you for shit, i'm just asking you to do what you say you're going to do... you said it, just follow up. damn... i hope you get it right for the next girl.
6. i don't love you anymore... and i'm glad i don't. i lost the ring you gave me.. and up until today, i felt horrible about it. now... i lost it a long time ago, but i lost you a long time ago too. except now, i'm ready to finally let it go.
7. i'll never forget the things you said about me or the things you did to me... i can't. and i won't. i'm over it, and i hope to no end that your life is wonderful, i just don't want to be apart of it. you are fake, and i do believe you will get everything that's coming to you, but none the less.. i hope it doesn't hurt you half as much as you hurt me.
8. i love you girl. lemme get a GB!
9. thanks for helping me come to the realization that everything i do is a choice, and you will always be there for me. thank you so much.
10. the way you make me feel is indescribable. i know its love, but i know its more. our relationship is so subtle, but obvious.. and i love the way it layers more than anything. you are so much to me... and your heart is home.. let me come back.
Nine things about yourself:
1. i truly am a happy person. too many things have gotten in the way of that, but its true, i am.
2. music is the only thing that never lets me down.
3. i can't be had... but if you asked me, i'd allow myself to be taken.
4. i'm so happy right now. and it's so real.
5. my spirituality is real, even if it's just to me. i love it. keeps me so balanced.
6. everything in my life happens for a reason.
7. choices made are what have made my life what it is.
8. my circle is the best in the world.
9. i'm the best person you'll ever meet. ever. don't try to convince me otherwise.
Eight ways to win your heart:
1. hold my hand... without me asking
2. push me to my limits, but never beyond, unless i ask.
3. give me the space i ask for.
4. honesty is always the best policy.
5. spontaneity is the spice of life.
6. remind me that you are very much aware of my presence, not just in the world, but in your life as well.
7. play in my hair.
8. make music with me.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. my person.
2. the future.
3. how to make good vibes.
4. traveling.
5. music.
6. partying.
7. money.
Six things you wish you never had to do:
1. fail.
2. cry.
3. long for...
4. toil.
5. encounter set backs.
6. feel negative vibes.
Five turn offs:
1. ugly teeth.
2. liars.
3. robots.
4. bad music.
5. complainers.
Four turn ons:
1. physical, emotional, and mental strength.
2. gentle touches.
3. honesty.
4. musical inclination.
Three wishes for your future:
1. prosperity.
2. a-perfect-for-my-life partner.
3. bookoo money.
Two things you want to do before you die:
1. sing you life.
2. free myself from all pain.
One emotion as of right now:
1. refreshed.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
iLove my life.
- i have this completely non-sexual fantasy that i'll be with someone i really love and care for, and all we'll do is be. i want to be held so badly, in so many different positions... and we'll touch each other; feel each other; breath each other... we'll just be. and by being, we'll be happy...
- i also have a completely sexual fantasy that i'll be with someone i really love and care for, and all we'll do is be wrapped in each other. and the sexual part of this fantasy is that we can get it in whenever we want... and that spontaneity coupled with the thrill of just not knowing when i'll be taken... so completely invigorating. mmhmm. can't wait...
i'm so in love y'all. its pretty ridiculous how amazingly happy i am. and i'm not just in love with a someone! i'm just in love. in love with love and the love that i feel. :) my people are the bomb, and so am i. i love this life. it is truly all i wanted, to smile like this. everything's falling into place, as it should. i love my life. :)
Monday, May 11, 2009
everything we do is a choice.
85% of the choices in life are made for us.
(where we're from, when we were born, how we were raised, who we love, etc., etc.)
but all the other choices,
like how we live, how happy we are, what we do in our spare time,
things of that sort,
they are all choices that we make.
so though in a lot of cases, we cannot choose our circumstances,
but we can choose our outcomes.
i'm choosing my outcome.
:)
85% of the choices in life are made for us.
(where we're from, when we were born, how we were raised, who we love, etc., etc.)
but all the other choices,
like how we live, how happy we are, what we do in our spare time,
things of that sort,
they are all choices that we make.
so though in a lot of cases, we cannot choose our circumstances,
but we can choose our outcomes.
i'm choosing my outcome.
:)
Monday, May 4, 2009
i see why mo'nique makes all those "skinny bitch" jokes.
quick topic.
the average woman in america is 163 pounds (74 kg) and 5' 3.8" (163 cm). (USA today)
163lbs? are you serious? that's abt a 10/12.
so why are so many chicks trying to be a 6? or smaller even? that's not clever.
society does this to us, and it's silly.
they do it to guys too. "he likes (chubby, fat, thick, etc.) chicks. call it a fetish."
maybe it's just me, but when was the last time a "fetish" was looked at with a positive connotation?
that's not a fetish. that's just a man being into a more rubenesque frame.
for centuries, it has been coveted (in women) to have wide hips and large breasts.
most recently with the french aristocracy, and their utilization of and their lust for the bustle and corset.
hell, marilyn monroe was a 14. a 14. even if you check her measurements, she was in today's world a 12. a 12 for goodness sake!!!
audrey was a slimmie, but audrey wasn't bonin' JFK either.
hate me if you wanna, but i'll always be a double digit DIVA.
and my contentment with that is so very high. :)
'tis all.
the average woman in america is 163 pounds (74 kg) and 5' 3.8" (163 cm). (USA today)
163lbs? are you serious? that's abt a 10/12.
so why are so many chicks trying to be a 6? or smaller even? that's not clever.
society does this to us, and it's silly.
they do it to guys too. "he likes (chubby, fat, thick, etc.) chicks. call it a fetish."
maybe it's just me, but when was the last time a "fetish" was looked at with a positive connotation?
that's not a fetish. that's just a man being into a more rubenesque frame.
for centuries, it has been coveted (in women) to have wide hips and large breasts.
most recently with the french aristocracy, and their utilization of and their lust for the bustle and corset.
hell, marilyn monroe was a 14. a 14. even if you check her measurements, she was in today's world a 12. a 12 for goodness sake!!!
audrey was a slimmie, but audrey wasn't bonin' JFK either.
hate me if you wanna, but i'll always be a double digit DIVA.
and my contentment with that is so very high. :)
'tis all.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
when we spend so much time speaking of the things that we do not want, we don't spend enough time figuring out the things that we do want. where we want our lives to go, how we want that journey to be made, and how we want to be thought of. the negativity that keeps showing up in our lives, whether we realize it or not, will have an impact on our every day lives.
i was speaking with a friend, and we began to talk about the person she feels she wants to be with, and she kept saying over and over again "i've done with before, i know what i don't want, i'm pretty sure what i need, and yet, all the things i don't want keep staring me in the face." and it's true!!! it is so very true! she doesn't know what she needs. all she knows is what she doesn't want in a man. but the reality is that the things we think about the most often, those dynamic behind those things- whether positive or negative- is the energy we will breed into our lives. she's always on the look out for the man she doesn't want, so that he won't pop up, but never on the look on the look out for what she does what. what she does want has stared her in the face so many times, and it's sad, because she's a "nit picker", and all she will do is take a perfectly good man and tear them down... and yet, somehow, they are all still drawn to her. they tell me often. and it's cute and sweet, quite admirable actually, but none the less, they are all quite attached to her. and its not that she's a bad person, because she isn't, but i believe that they are all attracted to her because she doesn't want them in her life. its hard to shake those traits when you can't truly get them off of your mind...
all this to say, the things you think about the most, whether they are positive or negative, are the things that will come to pass. your thoughts have a voice, and for those religious people out there, that voice is speaking things into exisitence. my idea structure tells me that God gave us the power to control our own universe. we as humans were set higher than animals for this very purpose, and that we were sent here to take care of the world that has been given to us by God, and because of that we can edify and bring to life the words that we speak, because we have God in us. don't ask me to quote the scripture right now, but i'm almost positive its in james. i'll look it up, check it later.
anyhoo, since this is MY blog where i put MY thoughts, i'm gonna be spending some time exploring my wants as opposed to my not wants. call me selfish, but sometimes, you gotta find out what you want so that you know what to ask for.
thanks for reading, chickadees. :)
i was speaking with a friend, and we began to talk about the person she feels she wants to be with, and she kept saying over and over again "i've done with before, i know what i don't want, i'm pretty sure what i need, and yet, all the things i don't want keep staring me in the face." and it's true!!! it is so very true! she doesn't know what she needs. all she knows is what she doesn't want in a man. but the reality is that the things we think about the most often, those dynamic behind those things- whether positive or negative- is the energy we will breed into our lives. she's always on the look out for the man she doesn't want, so that he won't pop up, but never on the look on the look out for what she does what. what she does want has stared her in the face so many times, and it's sad, because she's a "nit picker", and all she will do is take a perfectly good man and tear them down... and yet, somehow, they are all still drawn to her. they tell me often. and it's cute and sweet, quite admirable actually, but none the less, they are all quite attached to her. and its not that she's a bad person, because she isn't, but i believe that they are all attracted to her because she doesn't want them in her life. its hard to shake those traits when you can't truly get them off of your mind...
all this to say, the things you think about the most, whether they are positive or negative, are the things that will come to pass. your thoughts have a voice, and for those religious people out there, that voice is speaking things into exisitence. my idea structure tells me that God gave us the power to control our own universe. we as humans were set higher than animals for this very purpose, and that we were sent here to take care of the world that has been given to us by God, and because of that we can edify and bring to life the words that we speak, because we have God in us. don't ask me to quote the scripture right now, but i'm almost positive its in james. i'll look it up, check it later.
anyhoo, since this is MY blog where i put MY thoughts, i'm gonna be spending some time exploring my wants as opposed to my not wants. call me selfish, but sometimes, you gotta find out what you want so that you know what to ask for.
thanks for reading, chickadees. :)
Friday, May 1, 2009
new discoveries
soo let's see... i'll start with the negatives to get them off of my spirit, once and for all.
i don't like people that complain, people that judge, or people that suck for the following reasons:
a) complaining is the byproduct of a problem, not the solution, ergo, complaining is futile, and those that do complain incessantly are intellectually limited individuals of little self-worth. i do not have time.
b) judgmental people are also intellectually limited individuals of little self-worth because they tend to build up their own worthless life, ego, and persona by demeaning and passing judgment on the actions of others, instead of focusing that energy inward and fixing their own issues and problems. judgment is a byproduct of a problem. i don't have time.
c) people that suck are determined by timing.. but their timing is usually quite inopportune and quite frankly, i don't have time to waste on their poor time management.
so what do i like?
the opposite. the things i have time for!!!
i love people that create solutions, because it shows their creativity and ability to be an end, not a means to it. and that is absolutely beautiful because it shows that they are not necessarily a passing people, but a lasting people, and that's the kind of staying power that i want in my ife.
strong people that know their power and might, so that they don't have to put down others to build up themselves? that's sexy. so sexy. they have egos, but they stroke them themselves.
and people with wonderful time management. there's nothing that will secure you a place in my heart faster than a good work/life/people balance. i always worked hard to have everyone have a good place in my heart, and in my life. that's beautiful. and who doesn't want to be surrounded by beautiful people, sounds; who doesn't want to be surrounded by a beautiful life?
i do. so.... i'm working on it. :)
i don't like people that complain, people that judge, or people that suck for the following reasons:
a) complaining is the byproduct of a problem, not the solution, ergo, complaining is futile, and those that do complain incessantly are intellectually limited individuals of little self-worth. i do not have time.
b) judgmental people are also intellectually limited individuals of little self-worth because they tend to build up their own worthless life, ego, and persona by demeaning and passing judgment on the actions of others, instead of focusing that energy inward and fixing their own issues and problems. judgment is a byproduct of a problem. i don't have time.
c) people that suck are determined by timing.. but their timing is usually quite inopportune and quite frankly, i don't have time to waste on their poor time management.
so what do i like?
the opposite. the things i have time for!!!
i love people that create solutions, because it shows their creativity and ability to be an end, not a means to it. and that is absolutely beautiful because it shows that they are not necessarily a passing people, but a lasting people, and that's the kind of staying power that i want in my ife.
strong people that know their power and might, so that they don't have to put down others to build up themselves? that's sexy. so sexy. they have egos, but they stroke them themselves.
and people with wonderful time management. there's nothing that will secure you a place in my heart faster than a good work/life/people balance. i always worked hard to have everyone have a good place in my heart, and in my life. that's beautiful. and who doesn't want to be surrounded by beautiful people, sounds; who doesn't want to be surrounded by a beautiful life?
i do. so.... i'm working on it. :)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
just thoughts. :)
many assorted points for the day. so i'll start with the first one!
random wiki research!!!
•This Left Feels Right is a Bon Jovi studio album with new versions of Bon Jovi songs from previous albums. (this will be on the listening mono-party list. i promise you that.)
•USS Pamanset (AO-85) was a Escambia-class fleet oiler acquired by the U.S. Navy for use during World War II.
•Amantius (Amancius) (Italian: Amanzio) is a Roman cognomen. It can refer to several figures in Roman and early Christian history.
•Thomas Perry (born 1947) is an American mystery novelist, who received a 1983 Edgar Award from the Mystery Writers of America for Best First Novel.
•St Stanislaus' College (commonly known as Stannies) is a Roman Catholic, day and boarding school for boys, conducted by the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul's priests and brothers. It is located in Bathurst, a regional centre 200 km west of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.
WOW! lots of really good randoms. those actually all make me very happy. that will be something to do tomorrow, definitely. next topic?
new (or new to me) music!!!
MGMT -- oracular spectacular. (oh my God. this album was completely amazing. favorite tracks being "the youth", "electric feel", and "kids". the singing was very beach boys-esque. it was pretty reasonable when it came down to simplicity, but the way it was all put together was astounding. masterly. simply masterly.)
LMFAO -- self titled. (if the cool kids, daft punk, and NERD could have their musical genes spliced and made into one egg, then impregnated by justice, LMFAO would be their love child. and i swear on my life up until now, i would love that bastard child as my own. as i currently do. favorite tracks being "i don't wanna be", "i'm in miami bitch", and "i am not a whore". and yes, they are all chock full of catchy lyrics.)
raphael saadiq -- the way i see it. (reeeeeeally broke up the listening trend as of late! it's a doo-wop inspired album. that era of music was very far from my favorite, but you know.. i have a little thing for the man, so i heard it out. and it was musically advanced. you feel the doo-wop all the way through, but it's still a very, very 21st century work. favorite tracks are as follows: "just one kiss", "staying in love", and "never give you up". i adore "never give you up". truly.)
umm... i have no sad love stories today. no questions, rants or remarks about it really.
i kinda just wanna talk about the sex i am not having.
the sex i need to have.
and that sex will be marvelous.
it will be fucking fantastic- literally and figuratively.
and i tell you what, if i don't get a morning round i might lose my entire mind.
last time i was with the person, we did some amazing things. i hope the person reads this so i can be provided with some morning love. yes, i do believe i could use some of that.
and that can go anyway the person wants it to. ;)
its late.. i'm going to turn on the itunes genie dj and let it sleep. g'night. :)
random wiki research!!!
•This Left Feels Right is a Bon Jovi studio album with new versions of Bon Jovi songs from previous albums. (this will be on the listening mono-party list. i promise you that.)
•USS Pamanset (AO-85) was a Escambia-class fleet oiler acquired by the U.S. Navy for use during World War II.
•Amantius (Amancius) (Italian: Amanzio) is a Roman cognomen. It can refer to several figures in Roman and early Christian history.
•Thomas Perry (born 1947) is an American mystery novelist, who received a 1983 Edgar Award from the Mystery Writers of America for Best First Novel.
•St Stanislaus' College (commonly known as Stannies) is a Roman Catholic, day and boarding school for boys, conducted by the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul's priests and brothers. It is located in Bathurst, a regional centre 200 km west of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.
WOW! lots of really good randoms. those actually all make me very happy. that will be something to do tomorrow, definitely. next topic?
new (or new to me) music!!!
MGMT -- oracular spectacular. (oh my God. this album was completely amazing. favorite tracks being "the youth", "electric feel", and "kids". the singing was very beach boys-esque. it was pretty reasonable when it came down to simplicity, but the way it was all put together was astounding. masterly. simply masterly.)
LMFAO -- self titled. (if the cool kids, daft punk, and NERD could have their musical genes spliced and made into one egg, then impregnated by justice, LMFAO would be their love child. and i swear on my life up until now, i would love that bastard child as my own. as i currently do. favorite tracks being "i don't wanna be", "i'm in miami bitch", and "i am not a whore". and yes, they are all chock full of catchy lyrics.)
raphael saadiq -- the way i see it. (reeeeeeally broke up the listening trend as of late! it's a doo-wop inspired album. that era of music was very far from my favorite, but you know.. i have a little thing for the man, so i heard it out. and it was musically advanced. you feel the doo-wop all the way through, but it's still a very, very 21st century work. favorite tracks are as follows: "just one kiss", "staying in love", and "never give you up". i adore "never give you up". truly.)
umm... i have no sad love stories today. no questions, rants or remarks about it really.
i kinda just wanna talk about the sex i am not having.
the sex i need to have.
and that sex will be marvelous.
it will be fucking fantastic- literally and figuratively.
and i tell you what, if i don't get a morning round i might lose my entire mind.
last time i was with the person, we did some amazing things. i hope the person reads this so i can be provided with some morning love. yes, i do believe i could use some of that.
and that can go anyway the person wants it to. ;)
its late.. i'm going to turn on the itunes genie dj and let it sleep. g'night. :)
Sunday, April 26, 2009
coast.
people ask me how i broke my ankle, and i feel like such an ass.
like... the story is actually quite simple.
i was at the park, and i decided to take my dog with me.
so i'm skating, having a good time,
and i guess my dog decided i was leaving her,
so she darted in front of my board.
i stepped off to keep from hitting her, but the board kept going,
and when i felt my body not really adjusting to the fall, i knew it was gonna be bad.
and i keep telling myself
"yea, you fell, but something had to give. i guess this time it was your ankle."
needless to say, this whole experience has been so indicative of my life.
or any life for that matter. but me?
i skate through life having fun, having a good time.
something darts in the mix,
and i step around it to keep from hurting whatever it is,
but the board keeps going... and my body isn't adjusting...
and i know the fall is going to be bad. i know it.
but something has to give.
some falls are a scraped knee.
you know, just on the surface, needs a band-aid and some neosporin. call it a day.
some falls are bruises.
hair bit deeper, last a little bit longer. call it a day.
...then there's the broken bones, pulled muscles, strained ligaments.
they hurt. they hurt so bad.
they can be immobilizing... demoralizing...
they feel like the end of the world.
and they take so much time to heal...
but they heal.
they all heal.
in time, they heal.
and when they heal, you get back on the board.
i'll heal.
i'm not sure when, but i'll heal.
i'll get back on the board.
isn't that the most important part.
like... the story is actually quite simple.
i was at the park, and i decided to take my dog with me.
so i'm skating, having a good time,
and i guess my dog decided i was leaving her,
so she darted in front of my board.
i stepped off to keep from hitting her, but the board kept going,
and when i felt my body not really adjusting to the fall, i knew it was gonna be bad.
and i keep telling myself
"yea, you fell, but something had to give. i guess this time it was your ankle."
needless to say, this whole experience has been so indicative of my life.
or any life for that matter. but me?
i skate through life having fun, having a good time.
something darts in the mix,
and i step around it to keep from hurting whatever it is,
but the board keeps going... and my body isn't adjusting...
and i know the fall is going to be bad. i know it.
but something has to give.
some falls are a scraped knee.
you know, just on the surface, needs a band-aid and some neosporin. call it a day.
some falls are bruises.
hair bit deeper, last a little bit longer. call it a day.
...then there's the broken bones, pulled muscles, strained ligaments.
they hurt. they hurt so bad.
they can be immobilizing... demoralizing...
they feel like the end of the world.
and they take so much time to heal...
but they heal.
they all heal.
in time, they heal.
and when they heal, you get back on the board.
i'll heal.
i'm not sure when, but i'll heal.
i'll get back on the board.
isn't that the most important part.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
this is for my (tomboy) ladies:
you know they love you. (by they, i mean the boys.) all your friends are them, all your family calls you one of em, every time you turn around you think you are one, or at least wonder why you think like one. they hold you down, and they build you up; they keep you sane, but they drive you mad... and you're great with it. you're all good for it. then you get older and you realize that being one of the guys was cool in high school. but now they want a girl, a wife, a woman, all the female things you're not used to. and then you have those feelings... those girl feelings. the ones that make you not one of the boys. and then you realize... you're always going to be one of the boys. they'll always see you that way. the ones that mean the most. they'll never see the woman you've blossomed into. they're never going to see you for the female that you are. and they will never see you for the full fledged woman you're going to become.
and maybe that isn't bad. because maybe they see you as one of the guys to set you higher than the rest of the girls. maybe even higher than the rest of the boys for that matter. but you don't have to challenge your sexuality, just your feelings. and theirs. its hard, and we all know its hard. call it a lady problem if you want to... but maybe we're the only ones that have it. and maybe we do need to let go to let them see. let them see who you are... who you really are. not just one of the guys. not just one of their guys. maybe we need to let go to let ourselves see who we really are.
and that's not just one of the guys.
and maybe that isn't bad. because maybe they see you as one of the guys to set you higher than the rest of the girls. maybe even higher than the rest of the boys for that matter. but you don't have to challenge your sexuality, just your feelings. and theirs. its hard, and we all know its hard. call it a lady problem if you want to... but maybe we're the only ones that have it. and maybe we do need to let go to let them see. let them see who you are... who you really are. not just one of the guys. not just one of their guys. maybe we need to let go to let ourselves see who we really are.
and that's not just one of the guys.
{...no friends, no phones, no 2ways...}
my dude got me listenin to every single arrangement of "going in circles" that exists.
its a beautiful fucking piece. my major problem with pop music is no one ever wants it to NOT sound like the demo.
so it's never really owned, you know. its not really an arrangement, just like a "rendition"...
but that's fine. deep down, i just wanna feel the NOT loneliness that comes with that song.
(it'd be nice to NOT be layin here alone, but whatever.)
when i'm lonely, i listen to lonely person hits.
"after the love has gone", "going in circles", "cause i love you".
then that leads to new knockers
"we should be", "say it", "if i was your man".
all this to say, r&b is not for the emotionally charged.
i'm feeling new things with every song on my playlist.
but whatever... life is abt making due.
someone should write a song about THAT.
its a beautiful fucking piece. my major problem with pop music is no one ever wants it to NOT sound like the demo.
so it's never really owned, you know. its not really an arrangement, just like a "rendition"...
but that's fine. deep down, i just wanna feel the NOT loneliness that comes with that song.
(it'd be nice to NOT be layin here alone, but whatever.)
when i'm lonely, i listen to lonely person hits.
"after the love has gone", "going in circles", "cause i love you".
then that leads to new knockers
"we should be", "say it", "if i was your man".
all this to say, r&b is not for the emotionally charged.
i'm feeling new things with every song on my playlist.
but whatever... life is abt making due.
someone should write a song about THAT.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
sweet escape.
i spend nights waiting for someone to take me away.
far, far away from here.
i know someone will take me there.
take me there without confusion.
we don't have to rush; we can take our time, its just us..
where we're going, the weather is always wonderful.
the temperature never goes too low or gets to hot.
it's always warm. every other day it rains, but who cares?
it's always light and refreshing. we need the water to survive.
there's always some entertainment, and it's not just my life...
i know someone will take me there.
smiles all around in this beautiful place.
flowers never die, pollen never bothers anyone.
there are no muddy waters, only clear and crisp.
the goodness is boundless, i tell you, i can only imagine.
no one complains, there is no disdain...
i know someone will take me there.
the moon rises and the sun falls,
and we see them both each time.
i can't wait for you to take me there.
didn't you know these clear skies were in your eyes?
this beautiful place, it is your face.
when will be the day that you come to take me away?
(the world may never know.)
so patiently i wait until the day you hold me close,
tell me that i mean the most,
look me in my eyes and say
"you and i are the only way."
the only way to live; the only way to be;
we are the only future we can see.
...and then i woke up, to find that you were just me.
the touch i felt, the things i saw
were all in my mind. my sub-conscious brain made me feel shock and awe.
but i am not us, and we are not me...
those are both plural, things i could never be.
so i guess i just have to continue to hope and pray
and wish for the day
that someone will come for me.
i spend nights waiting for someone to take me away.
far, far away from here.
i know someone will take me there.
but until then, i'll have to make due with just me.
the weather isn't ideal,
and the place is ever so close by.
so i close my eyes, hold myself tight,
and continue to hope for the night when someone will take me away...
far, far away from here.
far, far away from here.
i know someone will take me there.
take me there without confusion.
we don't have to rush; we can take our time, its just us..
where we're going, the weather is always wonderful.
the temperature never goes too low or gets to hot.
it's always warm. every other day it rains, but who cares?
it's always light and refreshing. we need the water to survive.
there's always some entertainment, and it's not just my life...
i know someone will take me there.
smiles all around in this beautiful place.
flowers never die, pollen never bothers anyone.
there are no muddy waters, only clear and crisp.
the goodness is boundless, i tell you, i can only imagine.
no one complains, there is no disdain...
i know someone will take me there.
the moon rises and the sun falls,
and we see them both each time.
i can't wait for you to take me there.
didn't you know these clear skies were in your eyes?
this beautiful place, it is your face.
when will be the day that you come to take me away?
(the world may never know.)
so patiently i wait until the day you hold me close,
tell me that i mean the most,
look me in my eyes and say
"you and i are the only way."
the only way to live; the only way to be;
we are the only future we can see.
...and then i woke up, to find that you were just me.
the touch i felt, the things i saw
were all in my mind. my sub-conscious brain made me feel shock and awe.
but i am not us, and we are not me...
those are both plural, things i could never be.
so i guess i just have to continue to hope and pray
and wish for the day
that someone will come for me.
i spend nights waiting for someone to take me away.
far, far away from here.
i know someone will take me there.
but until then, i'll have to make due with just me.
the weather isn't ideal,
and the place is ever so close by.
so i close my eyes, hold myself tight,
and continue to hope for the night when someone will take me away...
far, far away from here.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
ahh. it has been far too long.
apologies up front for being a bad host. i don't keep up with this the way i should.
someone that was once close to me (all that being said, i miss you) is an avid blogger, and thoroughly inspires my writing a lot of the time. truly. but today... i think he might have made me angry, passionate even. inspiration none the less, but damn. i'm mad.
"have some of you come to the realization that you may NOT get married. You may NOT find that lifetime partner to share errything with with? Shit sounds sad as fuck but it's a reality not many are willing to accept. Yes, its cool to be under 25, living the Party Life, but at the end if it, How does this reality make you feel? Like how does the thought of growing up with nobody to call your own strike you?"
that was great, absolutely. the last one is definitely the question you need to ask yourself when you decide if and/or when you do want to have a family, or the lack thereof. but then he said this...
"I do agree with Interim, as her and I talked about this situation, and how she doesn't want kids, nor does she want to get married. I can deal with one, but both, no. You can live with your 39 cats if you want. At LEAST a child should suffice. I'm not calling her lonely for the future, but some people rather take over your life forever, and not deal with the labels and documents and the "quarrels" that come with a marriage"
i do not want kids. i do not see myself in a happy relationship. i have kind of embraced that i'll be lonely for a vast majority, if not my entire life. and it is no way that i am going to have a freaking kid to curb that loneliness. i'm just not finna do that. i'm not anti-single parents, i'm just anti- ME being a single parent.
so maybe i am going to be alone forever. and maybe that's how my life is gonna be. but i heard ja'net du bois say on "good times": "yes, i am alone. but i'm never lonely, and i know the difference." ...i can resign to that. deep down... i think that's always what i wanted in the first place.
someone that was once close to me (all that being said, i miss you) is an avid blogger, and thoroughly inspires my writing a lot of the time. truly. but today... i think he might have made me angry, passionate even. inspiration none the less, but damn. i'm mad.
"have some of you come to the realization that you may NOT get married. You may NOT find that lifetime partner to share errything with with? Shit sounds sad as fuck but it's a reality not many are willing to accept. Yes, its cool to be under 25, living the Party Life, but at the end if it, How does this reality make you feel? Like how does the thought of growing up with nobody to call your own strike you?"
that was great, absolutely. the last one is definitely the question you need to ask yourself when you decide if and/or when you do want to have a family, or the lack thereof. but then he said this...
"I do agree with Interim, as her and I talked about this situation, and how she doesn't want kids, nor does she want to get married. I can deal with one, but both, no. You can live with your 39 cats if you want. At LEAST a child should suffice. I'm not calling her lonely for the future, but some people rather take over your life forever, and not deal with the labels and documents and the "quarrels" that come with a marriage"
i do not want kids. i do not see myself in a happy relationship. i have kind of embraced that i'll be lonely for a vast majority, if not my entire life. and it is no way that i am going to have a freaking kid to curb that loneliness. i'm just not finna do that. i'm not anti-single parents, i'm just anti- ME being a single parent.
so maybe i am going to be alone forever. and maybe that's how my life is gonna be. but i heard ja'net du bois say on "good times": "yes, i am alone. but i'm never lonely, and i know the difference." ...i can resign to that. deep down... i think that's always what i wanted in the first place.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
random wiki research!
colotini - a tribe of pierid butterflies in the subfamily Pierinae
penrhyn main line class - a class of three narrow gauge steam locomotives built for the Penrhyn Quarry Railway (PQR)
jeanne tsai - an Associate Professor of Psychology at Stanford University and director of the Culture and Emotion Lab (ooooh a good one!!!)
william j. johnson - (1821 - 1875) was a New York State businessman and politician
bored with this. and i hurt. sedatives.
penrhyn main line class - a class of three narrow gauge steam locomotives built for the Penrhyn Quarry Railway (PQR)
jeanne tsai - an Associate Professor of Psychology at Stanford University and director of the Culture and Emotion Lab (ooooh a good one!!!)
william j. johnson - (1821 - 1875) was a New York State businessman and politician
bored with this. and i hurt. sedatives.
Friday, April 3, 2009
hmm...
oh my God.
save me.
this pink boot is quite possibly ruining my life as of right now.
the first of many weekends in, at least until i get a walking boot.
i can't believe i have a cast on my leg. ugh.
i could really use a cigarette.
i can't write here, i need to get more personal.
maybe later...
save me.
this pink boot is quite possibly ruining my life as of right now.
the first of many weekends in, at least until i get a walking boot.
i can't believe i have a cast on my leg. ugh.
i could really use a cigarette.
i can't write here, i need to get more personal.
maybe later...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
update.
MY ANKLE IS BROKEN! way better than the sprain, cause i got a cast.
BUT, i might need surgery.
we'll find out in 2 weeks.
pray my strength. :)
BUT, i might need surgery.
we'll find out in 2 weeks.
pray my strength. :)
Monday, March 30, 2009
yay thinking!
broad topic for today... well... my next few posts are going to be about some deeper things... mainly just how to fuel the soul. so right now i want to talk about
spiritual completion: how it pertains to intra- and interpersonal relationships.
(i promise that this isn't a term paper.)
someone and i were having a wonderful conversation about our respective needs in our respective relationships with our respective partners, and it got me to thinking about how i have been maintaining relationships with people in my life right now. my life is changing. my views are changing. even the basic fabric of my core values are changing, as i feel like they're finally becoming my own. when i worked at old navy, i had a pretty good conversational relationship with one of my managers, and he said to me "your values, morals, and overall belief structure will change at least twice before you truly understand who you are", and it is quite true. i don't think that my overall belief structure has changed a whole hell of a lot, but it has. and some of the things that i valued the most when i was 17 don't matter as much now as they did then. but i digress... with these changes come new found responsibilities, and i feel as though i my soul reaches fulfillment in a whole different way now than i did then. i feel like the needs of my spirit have changed in the last 6 months, and they are different now than they were back in september. but all this comes back to something so small, but so large all at the same time, and that is self-awareness.
self-awareness has become a big thing in my life. i've spent so much time trying to make others happy and meet their needs, that in the process, i'd forgotten how to meet my own. so i had to take 5 steps backward and just see what was going on with me, and it's forced me to look deep inside myself and figure out not just how i can meet my own needs, but what my own needs really are. and something i truly, truly need is intimacy. not sex, not so much love either, just intimacy. i can't describe what i mean by that, but when the moment comes, i know it. i can feel it. at times, i crave it, and it can be a bit much. but let's be real... intimacy is bigger than sex. it's bigger than love. its a spiritual connection between two willing, mature individuals. i know myself and my needs- or at least i have a really good idea- and i think it matters. because in the process of learning myself and what i need from myself, i've learned what i truly need from others. which is great. it allows me to set expectations for the people in my life, but on a more personal level, because i want them to understand me almost the same way i feel that i understand them. i'm rambling now, but such is... getting back on topic.
if you know your own spirit, you know your place in this world, at least for the moment. you understand your needs, wants, and requirements from self and others. and that alone is what separates the spiritually mature from the immature; the spiritually strong from the weak; that knowledge and awareness is what makes you human. but what you do with that knowledge... that's what makes you better.
that's enough. more later.
tomorrow's topic: spiritual completion: finding fulfillment in the universe.
spiritual completion: how it pertains to intra- and interpersonal relationships.
(i promise that this isn't a term paper.)
someone and i were having a wonderful conversation about our respective needs in our respective relationships with our respective partners, and it got me to thinking about how i have been maintaining relationships with people in my life right now. my life is changing. my views are changing. even the basic fabric of my core values are changing, as i feel like they're finally becoming my own. when i worked at old navy, i had a pretty good conversational relationship with one of my managers, and he said to me "your values, morals, and overall belief structure will change at least twice before you truly understand who you are", and it is quite true. i don't think that my overall belief structure has changed a whole hell of a lot, but it has. and some of the things that i valued the most when i was 17 don't matter as much now as they did then. but i digress... with these changes come new found responsibilities, and i feel as though i my soul reaches fulfillment in a whole different way now than i did then. i feel like the needs of my spirit have changed in the last 6 months, and they are different now than they were back in september. but all this comes back to something so small, but so large all at the same time, and that is self-awareness.
self-awareness has become a big thing in my life. i've spent so much time trying to make others happy and meet their needs, that in the process, i'd forgotten how to meet my own. so i had to take 5 steps backward and just see what was going on with me, and it's forced me to look deep inside myself and figure out not just how i can meet my own needs, but what my own needs really are. and something i truly, truly need is intimacy. not sex, not so much love either, just intimacy. i can't describe what i mean by that, but when the moment comes, i know it. i can feel it. at times, i crave it, and it can be a bit much. but let's be real... intimacy is bigger than sex. it's bigger than love. its a spiritual connection between two willing, mature individuals. i know myself and my needs- or at least i have a really good idea- and i think it matters. because in the process of learning myself and what i need from myself, i've learned what i truly need from others. which is great. it allows me to set expectations for the people in my life, but on a more personal level, because i want them to understand me almost the same way i feel that i understand them. i'm rambling now, but such is... getting back on topic.
if you know your own spirit, you know your place in this world, at least for the moment. you understand your needs, wants, and requirements from self and others. and that alone is what separates the spiritually mature from the immature; the spiritually strong from the weak; that knowledge and awareness is what makes you human. but what you do with that knowledge... that's what makes you better.
that's enough. more later.
tomorrow's topic: spiritual completion: finding fulfillment in the universe.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
ranting (not bad!)
i have to will myself to do something while i'm sick. i can't believe this is going to be it.
james mardsen is the most versatile actor ever. EVER. convince me otherwise if you'd like.
making the band 4 is the best show on television right now. its new drama every week. and i know its a reality show, but those post-production editors are just plain amazing. (sidenote: what ever happened to o-town?)
everyone is entitled to an off day. and at least once a week, a person should be in their zone. but every day cannot be an off day, and every day will not be a zone day. but everyday should be a good day. (sidebar: damn, i do NOT want to get up at 6 in the morning...)
i'm thinking of writing music again. just some chord changes and maybe some good lyrics. everything i've ever put together has been like program music. i think i just wanna jam out and record it or something. i'm so glad i passed that guitar off to alex. he's using it way more than i ever really did. plus i'm boug, and the thing made my fingers look like shit. can't have that.
anybody wanna get me a chi-sox and/or a bo-sox fitted? thanks.
spring is finally here!!! YAY! too bad its been raining all week, and it got warm today. (i have a mold allergy. yesterday and today i've been set up. crikey.)
time to sleep now. yay. i hope its cool out in the AM, so i don't have to feel worse. :-D
james mardsen is the most versatile actor ever. EVER. convince me otherwise if you'd like.
making the band 4 is the best show on television right now. its new drama every week. and i know its a reality show, but those post-production editors are just plain amazing. (sidenote: what ever happened to o-town?)
everyone is entitled to an off day. and at least once a week, a person should be in their zone. but every day cannot be an off day, and every day will not be a zone day. but everyday should be a good day. (sidebar: damn, i do NOT want to get up at 6 in the morning...)
i'm thinking of writing music again. just some chord changes and maybe some good lyrics. everything i've ever put together has been like program music. i think i just wanna jam out and record it or something. i'm so glad i passed that guitar off to alex. he's using it way more than i ever really did. plus i'm boug, and the thing made my fingers look like shit. can't have that.
anybody wanna get me a chi-sox and/or a bo-sox fitted? thanks.
spring is finally here!!! YAY! too bad its been raining all week, and it got warm today. (i have a mold allergy. yesterday and today i've been set up. crikey.)
time to sleep now. yay. i hope its cool out in the AM, so i don't have to feel worse. :-D
Thursday, March 26, 2009
bf vs. one nighter: what's the difference?
anna and i have a set crush (though we're not on his set) on this one particular theater major. we see him all the time, and he is so gorgeous. he makes us both turn into little school girls ("two little maids from school are we") and deep down... he's just a crush. nothing more, nothing less. but he is SUCH a nice guy. he is the guy i'd love to go on a date with, and he would appreciate going to see something smooth like a musical or an opera (probably a light opera, he is still a theater major) or going to a gallery and then having coffee. he's the type that you want to go on a grown up date with, which in my eyes makes him the boyfriend type. and i LOVE that. love.
so what makes a guy the boyfriend type? (to me)
first of all... the last place i want to meet him is in the club. not pushing aside the bar, but that's not the optimal circumstance. i meet all kinds of people every day. and in the past year, i've met 2 guys that are what i would consider boyfriend material. one, i just spoke of, and i met him on the way to school one day- the same school he attends!- and the other, i met at church/work. and that's fine, i'm not saying that he would be some horrible guy if i met him at the club, but usually, they want one good thing. that's it. and whether they're honest or not is something that you're usually not gonna find out until they get what they want... but i digress, that's a topic we'll get to later.
second: boyfriend types are the kinda that don't want to be friends with benefits. they want to be friends, but they understand that there's a difference between being friends and being together. and there is. there's a huge difference. i have lots of male friends. i always have. i have had 2 boyfriends in my life. 2. because those kids knew the difference. there's a bond that comes with being more than friends... and you can't go backward on that. my ex was my best friend and my boyfriend, because we had to be that close. we couldn't help it. it just happened. so when we broke up... i couldn't just be his friend. we didn't start that way. but such is. boyfriends you can date; you're not questioning yourself about letting him meet your family and friends; you're completely okay with just about every facet of your relatioship.
and then.... there's the one nighter. he's good for the night. that's how it started, that's probably how its gonna end. take it there. i hope its good. bump that, i hope its better.
that's cool though, to each his/her own.
its still early. time for a pedi, some tunes, and some skate. yayzers. :)
so what makes a guy the boyfriend type? (to me)
first of all... the last place i want to meet him is in the club. not pushing aside the bar, but that's not the optimal circumstance. i meet all kinds of people every day. and in the past year, i've met 2 guys that are what i would consider boyfriend material. one, i just spoke of, and i met him on the way to school one day- the same school he attends!- and the other, i met at church/work. and that's fine, i'm not saying that he would be some horrible guy if i met him at the club, but usually, they want one good thing. that's it. and whether they're honest or not is something that you're usually not gonna find out until they get what they want... but i digress, that's a topic we'll get to later.
second: boyfriend types are the kinda that don't want to be friends with benefits. they want to be friends, but they understand that there's a difference between being friends and being together. and there is. there's a huge difference. i have lots of male friends. i always have. i have had 2 boyfriends in my life. 2. because those kids knew the difference. there's a bond that comes with being more than friends... and you can't go backward on that. my ex was my best friend and my boyfriend, because we had to be that close. we couldn't help it. it just happened. so when we broke up... i couldn't just be his friend. we didn't start that way. but such is. boyfriends you can date; you're not questioning yourself about letting him meet your family and friends; you're completely okay with just about every facet of your relatioship.
and then.... there's the one nighter. he's good for the night. that's how it started, that's probably how its gonna end. take it there. i hope its good. bump that, i hope its better.
that's cool though, to each his/her own.
its still early. time for a pedi, some tunes, and some skate. yayzers. :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
daily. [vol 1, iss. 2]
the goal as of late has been to not linger on negative things. letting things go has always been an issue for me... its time. and i'm putting it in writing because if i truly let it off, i'll be fine. but if i don't make it real and make it known how i feel and how i felt at those respective moments, i'll never be able to detach myself from the negative energy that those feelings bring. i'll start where it matters.
2007 was a shitty year, probably shittier than '08. thanks for the good memories. but... the betrayal, the belittling, the hurt feelings... they should be addressed. florida was wonderful, but florida was horrible. i had fun 1 day. one. i won't get into details, but i have to make myself let go of that trip. period. real friends don't do that.. any of that. there is so much more that i would love to tell you. each of you. but i will tuck that all away, close the door, and let go of that love. and though i forgive you, respectively, i'm definitely over it. thanks for the memories. and yes, i'm over it.
2008 was totally 808s and heartbreaks all around. if you weren't there for my birthday- the most important birthday i've ever had- or my opera- the most IMPORTANT thing i have ever done. EVER- i didn't forget. i didn't forget any of it. i accepted people's reasons but deep down they were all just excuses. all of them. because i was there for all of my friends. all of them, no matter what. if you have seen 27 dresses, i am that girl. i am "jane". period. i just hope that should anything significant ever happen to me, all the people i was once there for will all be there for me when i need it most. that opera was like my child, that was a huge thing for me, and no one was there. no one. not one. did i mention no one? no one! holy shit, all i wanted was 2 hours of your time. 2. dos. deux. due. i didn't know that was such a hassle... i put 16 weeks of my life into that... it was cats out here wanting me to go to their probates and whatnot, and they know they were on all semester and they wanted to be recognized for their decisions and choices. i was the same. i put my everything into something i'm planning on devoting at least a facet of my life to, for an entire semester. you could make it to a probate that you had to stand for 2.5 hours to barely see, but you couldn't make it to a chair that was free for vcu students and paid for if you weren't in a comfortably air conditioned auditorium? yea... thanks. thanks for not being there for the biggest moment of my entire life. shitty times. its a really lonely feeling to walk out to greet the crowds and see so few familiar faces. and thanks to ALL of you for contributing to that. there are so many other things... the disrespectful things that made me compromise my values to maintain relationships... i can't do that anymore. no more. so this is my final warning: i can't take it anymore, and if you hurt my feelings and i take a week away from you, that week will turn into our lifetime. and if you don't like it, blame the losers that made me never want to trust anyone again. and NO i will not go into detail about anything, because the people i'm talking to will know who they are...
but i digress.
in other news... i was out skating today (if you wanna call what i was doing skating), clearing my head. and things were going quite well! {update: for my 22nd birthday, i skipped town for the weekend. went to love in dc; hot times. got back to where i was staying, slept for like an hour, then got up, had a cigarette and another drink, and went outside to learn to skate. i had never stepped on a board before that day. "doesn't count until sunrise." and let me just say, there is absolutely nowhere else i would have rather been than in that moment, on the tennis court, standing on a board in the presence of one of the greatest individuals to ever grace my life. that moment was just symbolic of so many different things in so many different ways... ways that i will not elaborate on because that person already knows... but i digress.} i didn't fall a lot today. only twice, once wasn't too bad cause i never hit the ground but the second time... that was rough. i landed on my left side, so now they are even. {i busted my ass really hard sunday. pulled muscles, possibly a sprained right wrist- it still hurts to bend- and just overall body tenderness. ick.} but... i coasted!!! seemed like almost 25ft before i hit a rock and had to make a run for it. (rocks are death, i thought i was going to die.) and i know 25ft isn't far, but i coasted. and i've only been doing this for 3 days. so i wanna pat myself on the back some... but whatever. there's still tomorrow and i still need to get the hang of turning more before i lose what i learned. alex is a great source for tips, that guy should write a book on technique. "skateboard pedagogy: the art of teaching the board." (don't run with that, just give me tips. we're in a recession and i can't afford to pay royalties.)
i found my music books, they were next to my dunks. all these things are signs of things yet to come.
SONGS for the night:
corinne bailey rae - "breathless"
adele - "chasing pavement"
::^those brits sure do know how to speak to a girl's heart^::
and the ALBUM that goes in between...
kanye west - 808s
::yea, i'm cliche, so what.::
my spirit is lots more free. i can't wait til "the garden south of the nile" is more than hermes.
{free song for the person that can tell me what that means}
2007 was a shitty year, probably shittier than '08. thanks for the good memories. but... the betrayal, the belittling, the hurt feelings... they should be addressed. florida was wonderful, but florida was horrible. i had fun 1 day. one. i won't get into details, but i have to make myself let go of that trip. period. real friends don't do that.. any of that. there is so much more that i would love to tell you. each of you. but i will tuck that all away, close the door, and let go of that love. and though i forgive you, respectively, i'm definitely over it. thanks for the memories. and yes, i'm over it.
2008 was totally 808s and heartbreaks all around. if you weren't there for my birthday- the most important birthday i've ever had- or my opera- the most IMPORTANT thing i have ever done. EVER- i didn't forget. i didn't forget any of it. i accepted people's reasons but deep down they were all just excuses. all of them. because i was there for all of my friends. all of them, no matter what. if you have seen 27 dresses, i am that girl. i am "jane". period. i just hope that should anything significant ever happen to me, all the people i was once there for will all be there for me when i need it most. that opera was like my child, that was a huge thing for me, and no one was there. no one. not one. did i mention no one? no one! holy shit, all i wanted was 2 hours of your time. 2. dos. deux. due. i didn't know that was such a hassle... i put 16 weeks of my life into that... it was cats out here wanting me to go to their probates and whatnot, and they know they were on all semester and they wanted to be recognized for their decisions and choices. i was the same. i put my everything into something i'm planning on devoting at least a facet of my life to, for an entire semester. you could make it to a probate that you had to stand for 2.5 hours to barely see, but you couldn't make it to a chair that was free for vcu students and paid for if you weren't in a comfortably air conditioned auditorium? yea... thanks. thanks for not being there for the biggest moment of my entire life. shitty times. its a really lonely feeling to walk out to greet the crowds and see so few familiar faces. and thanks to ALL of you for contributing to that. there are so many other things... the disrespectful things that made me compromise my values to maintain relationships... i can't do that anymore. no more. so this is my final warning: i can't take it anymore, and if you hurt my feelings and i take a week away from you, that week will turn into our lifetime. and if you don't like it, blame the losers that made me never want to trust anyone again. and NO i will not go into detail about anything, because the people i'm talking to will know who they are...
but i digress.
in other news... i was out skating today (if you wanna call what i was doing skating), clearing my head. and things were going quite well! {update: for my 22nd birthday, i skipped town for the weekend. went to love in dc; hot times. got back to where i was staying, slept for like an hour, then got up, had a cigarette and another drink, and went outside to learn to skate. i had never stepped on a board before that day. "doesn't count until sunrise." and let me just say, there is absolutely nowhere else i would have rather been than in that moment, on the tennis court, standing on a board in the presence of one of the greatest individuals to ever grace my life. that moment was just symbolic of so many different things in so many different ways... ways that i will not elaborate on because that person already knows... but i digress.} i didn't fall a lot today. only twice, once wasn't too bad cause i never hit the ground but the second time... that was rough. i landed on my left side, so now they are even. {i busted my ass really hard sunday. pulled muscles, possibly a sprained right wrist- it still hurts to bend- and just overall body tenderness. ick.} but... i coasted!!! seemed like almost 25ft before i hit a rock and had to make a run for it. (rocks are death, i thought i was going to die.) and i know 25ft isn't far, but i coasted. and i've only been doing this for 3 days. so i wanna pat myself on the back some... but whatever. there's still tomorrow and i still need to get the hang of turning more before i lose what i learned. alex is a great source for tips, that guy should write a book on technique. "skateboard pedagogy: the art of teaching the board." (don't run with that, just give me tips. we're in a recession and i can't afford to pay royalties.)
i found my music books, they were next to my dunks. all these things are signs of things yet to come.
SONGS for the night:
corinne bailey rae - "breathless"
adele - "chasing pavement"
::^those brits sure do know how to speak to a girl's heart^::
and the ALBUM that goes in between...
kanye west - 808s
::yea, i'm cliche, so what.::
my spirit is lots more free. i can't wait til "the garden south of the nile" is more than hermes.
{free song for the person that can tell me what that means}
music for the remainder of today:
corinne bailey rae. - self titled.
diplomats of solid sound. - the new EP i can't think of the name.
james morrison. - all of it.
robin thicke. - evolution.
lloyd. - all of it.
joe. - ain't nothing like me.
the beatles - revolver.
the white stripes - icky thump.
john legend - once again.
incubus - science.
aside from the first, it's a man date. yepp. let's do it. <3
diplomats of solid sound. - the new EP i can't think of the name.
james morrison. - all of it.
robin thicke. - evolution.
lloyd. - all of it.
joe. - ain't nothing like me.
the beatles - revolver.
the white stripes - icky thump.
john legend - once again.
incubus - science.
aside from the first, it's a man date. yepp. let's do it. <3
nothing good has come up yet...
i have so many things planned for today.
i hate only having one whole day off...
today is not it!!!
i need to go brave the cold,
clean out my car and get a workout in.
i need to take my clothes to the mat too. badly.
day 3 of the detox has just begun.
i'm having really nervous energy.
when i get home after church later,
i'm gonna clean my room.
i'm having this strong urge for breakfast food,
but i really need to detox and stay true to this food plan.
no bs.
ughhh! 'tis cold!!!
4 hours! oy!
how much can i get done in that time?
i hate only having one whole day off...
today is not it!!!
i need to go brave the cold,
clean out my car and get a workout in.
i need to take my clothes to the mat too. badly.
day 3 of the detox has just begun.
i'm having really nervous energy.
when i get home after church later,
i'm gonna clean my room.
i'm having this strong urge for breakfast food,
but i really need to detox and stay true to this food plan.
no bs.
ughhh! 'tis cold!!!
4 hours! oy!
how much can i get done in that time?
background.
i tend to get into writing really fast and then i give absolutely no background information so that it can be seen where my perspective is being derived from. and i completely appologize for that.
i am a 22 year old black woman. there's a lot of things that i am, but that's what i identify with. i do not capitalize anything but God. (nothing comes higher.) i like to write. its an emotional therapy for me. sometimes its prose, sometimes its not. either way, its writing and that is what counts. i love music. i'd like to call myself a musician but i can't rightfully say that i am anymore. i'm just some girl that really likes singing. i wear a lot of my emotions on my sleeve. i have been a product consultant and makeup artist for about a year now. those are some master classes i cannot WAIT to take. my best friends are males, growing into beautiful men. i'm madly in love with the most honest man in the entire world. or maybe he's just a beautiful liar and this is a twisted nightmare. it matters but it doesn't. he'll probably be the subject of a couple of these. i have been having this lifelong battle with my self-image and my weight. i've noticed that the better i feel about myself, the slimmer i get. i'm finally getting comfortable in the skin i'm in... so its easier to let the extra skin go. i write what i feel, and i do not appologize for it. if you would like to express like or dislike, feel free to comment or email me. (vic.i.will@gmail.com) sometimes i need a little food for thought. deep down, i want to smile all the time. and i'll do a lot to ensure that. but i want the people in my life that matter to smile more, sometimes more than i. you'll see all of this. just keep reading...
i am a 22 year old black woman. there's a lot of things that i am, but that's what i identify with. i do not capitalize anything but God. (nothing comes higher.) i like to write. its an emotional therapy for me. sometimes its prose, sometimes its not. either way, its writing and that is what counts. i love music. i'd like to call myself a musician but i can't rightfully say that i am anymore. i'm just some girl that really likes singing. i wear a lot of my emotions on my sleeve. i have been a product consultant and makeup artist for about a year now. those are some master classes i cannot WAIT to take. my best friends are males, growing into beautiful men. i'm madly in love with the most honest man in the entire world. or maybe he's just a beautiful liar and this is a twisted nightmare. it matters but it doesn't. he'll probably be the subject of a couple of these. i have been having this lifelong battle with my self-image and my weight. i've noticed that the better i feel about myself, the slimmer i get. i'm finally getting comfortable in the skin i'm in... so its easier to let the extra skin go. i write what i feel, and i do not appologize for it. if you would like to express like or dislike, feel free to comment or email me. (vic.i.will@gmail.com) sometimes i need a little food for thought. deep down, i want to smile all the time. and i'll do a lot to ensure that. but i want the people in my life that matter to smile more, sometimes more than i. you'll see all of this. just keep reading...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
::daily thoughts and ramblings::things that get on my nerves
the justice system is messed up on all levels; local, state, and federal. there are plenty of innocent people in jail, and more importantly, lots of shitty, guilty people walking around free because they weren't convicted of crimes they committed.
first of all, there is absolutely no reason that ANYONE should be acquitted, charged with involuntary manslaughter (self-defense), or any misdemeanor for murdering or raping anyone. that is my stance, and i'm not going to veer from that. so, i'm kicking it yesterday, still trying to wear off the weekend, and one of my friends tells me that the parrish boys were charged with involuntary manslaughter and assault and battery in the shooting death of tahleik taliaferro. those charges were downgraded from first degree murder and attempted murder. (for those of you that have not been following this story, taliaferro got into a verbal altercation with joey parrish. [the rest of this is from what i understand from reading stories and following it on the news.] after the argument, the boys were going to fight it out, but i guess something happened and the parrish boys were feeling extremely threatened. [i say extremely threatened because there is no way i could go around taking lives if i didn't feel as though someone was going to take mine.] in the process of feeling threatened, while taliaferro was walking away, joey parrish's cousin, ethan, shot taliaferro and another teen. the parrish boys admitted to shooting taliaferro, but in self-defense because taliaferro "was going to kill them" during this fight that apparently they suggested.) so... explain to me this: you get into a argument with someone over whatever the hell, lets say a love interest. so post this argument, you decide you're going to duke it out, like some champs. and you've got your people there to back you up, and so does your opponent. but the difference between you and your opponent is the people backing you up are human beings, and your opponent's people are smaller in number, but they have semi-automatic rifles, shotguns, and handguns, something your people don't have. now let's be honest. if you had that much heat on you at one time, you had planned or were planning on putting a hot one in somebody. period. nobody carries that many pieces just to defend themselves. no fucking way. i don't get that. and more importantly: since when can you claim self-defense when you shot someone in the back of their head? why are you allowed to claim self-defense for shooting someone in the back of their anything? if my back is turned to you, especially if you see me walking, running, or somehow moving away from you unarmed, and you fucking shoot me in the back of my goddamn head, i do not understand how in the FUCK you can claim self-defense? let that guy kick the shit out of you, get a couple licks in, and make sure that you have his ass sent to jail. not to make it seem like its all the deceased fault, but if it were, from what i understand... he had a full ride to BC. if it were all his fault, and you just let him beat your ass, he would have lost that. completely. he would have lost out on 5 good years of his life. the most you would have had was the pain in the ass of filing the police report and whatever bumps and/or bruises you incurred from the fight. but NO joey and ethan parrish, you decided to take the "high road" and let your guns make your decision for you. it is NOT justice that you are losing 11-16 years of your lives, respectively, and tahleik taliaferro lost his LIFE. yea, his life. all of it. you take a life, you should lose your own.
so what is wrong with this? little picture says that the parrishes got off for a crime that they did commit. the bigger picture is that our justice system is fucked, mainly on the state level. this is not the first, but the second time that the commonwealth's attorney has either dismissed or accepted lesser charges for crimes that were blatantly murder. back in 2007, there was a shooting here in richmond, as a cause of a robbery. there is a law in this commonwealth that states that you may not use a firearm to protect property not belonging to yourself, so if someone comes into your place of employment and tries to rob you, though you feel that it is self-defense, you may not shoot someone to protect your place of business. that incident involved the robber being shot at and leaving the store and the store manager running out after him, which resulted in the death of the robber. being that i worked in that store, it did make me feel fine to know that someone who attempted to rob us at gunpoint wouldn't be able to repeat that, but it did make me very angry that the store manager was able to completely leave the store to run after the assailant and proceed to shoot him in the back and the sides, injuries that the robber died from, when he was clearly leaving the scene. that guy would have been caught because it was a sloppy job, and he would have caught quite a bit of time for armed robbery, and absolutely nothing would have happened to the store manager. but no, he decided to run after this man and take his life.
but there is a commonality in these stories.
considering the sentences that all of these men should have gotten, respectively, they all got nothing, respectively. nothing. in two years, two lives have been taken senselessly and all the men doing the taking got were slaps on the wrist, if that. i know in the latter story, by the end, all charges were dropped. so clearly that means that something(s) is(are) wrong with the justice system and maybe, just maybe, that's where the adjustments need to be made. in both situations, i pray that all of the people affected find solace and comfort in knowing that everyone will answer to something bigger than all of us. everyone. and i will continue to pray the strength of all the families of lives lost.
and now that all of that is off my spirit... i can't wait to get my next kiss. :)
first of all, there is absolutely no reason that ANYONE should be acquitted, charged with involuntary manslaughter (self-defense), or any misdemeanor for murdering or raping anyone. that is my stance, and i'm not going to veer from that. so, i'm kicking it yesterday, still trying to wear off the weekend, and one of my friends tells me that the parrish boys were charged with involuntary manslaughter and assault and battery in the shooting death of tahleik taliaferro. those charges were downgraded from first degree murder and attempted murder. (for those of you that have not been following this story, taliaferro got into a verbal altercation with joey parrish. [the rest of this is from what i understand from reading stories and following it on the news.] after the argument, the boys were going to fight it out, but i guess something happened and the parrish boys were feeling extremely threatened. [i say extremely threatened because there is no way i could go around taking lives if i didn't feel as though someone was going to take mine.] in the process of feeling threatened, while taliaferro was walking away, joey parrish's cousin, ethan, shot taliaferro and another teen. the parrish boys admitted to shooting taliaferro, but in self-defense because taliaferro "was going to kill them" during this fight that apparently they suggested.) so... explain to me this: you get into a argument with someone over whatever the hell, lets say a love interest. so post this argument, you decide you're going to duke it out, like some champs. and you've got your people there to back you up, and so does your opponent. but the difference between you and your opponent is the people backing you up are human beings, and your opponent's people are smaller in number, but they have semi-automatic rifles, shotguns, and handguns, something your people don't have. now let's be honest. if you had that much heat on you at one time, you had planned or were planning on putting a hot one in somebody. period. nobody carries that many pieces just to defend themselves. no fucking way. i don't get that. and more importantly: since when can you claim self-defense when you shot someone in the back of their head? why are you allowed to claim self-defense for shooting someone in the back of their anything? if my back is turned to you, especially if you see me walking, running, or somehow moving away from you unarmed, and you fucking shoot me in the back of my goddamn head, i do not understand how in the FUCK you can claim self-defense? let that guy kick the shit out of you, get a couple licks in, and make sure that you have his ass sent to jail. not to make it seem like its all the deceased fault, but if it were, from what i understand... he had a full ride to BC. if it were all his fault, and you just let him beat your ass, he would have lost that. completely. he would have lost out on 5 good years of his life. the most you would have had was the pain in the ass of filing the police report and whatever bumps and/or bruises you incurred from the fight. but NO joey and ethan parrish, you decided to take the "high road" and let your guns make your decision for you. it is NOT justice that you are losing 11-16 years of your lives, respectively, and tahleik taliaferro lost his LIFE. yea, his life. all of it. you take a life, you should lose your own.
so what is wrong with this? little picture says that the parrishes got off for a crime that they did commit. the bigger picture is that our justice system is fucked, mainly on the state level. this is not the first, but the second time that the commonwealth's attorney has either dismissed or accepted lesser charges for crimes that were blatantly murder. back in 2007, there was a shooting here in richmond, as a cause of a robbery. there is a law in this commonwealth that states that you may not use a firearm to protect property not belonging to yourself, so if someone comes into your place of employment and tries to rob you, though you feel that it is self-defense, you may not shoot someone to protect your place of business. that incident involved the robber being shot at and leaving the store and the store manager running out after him, which resulted in the death of the robber. being that i worked in that store, it did make me feel fine to know that someone who attempted to rob us at gunpoint wouldn't be able to repeat that, but it did make me very angry that the store manager was able to completely leave the store to run after the assailant and proceed to shoot him in the back and the sides, injuries that the robber died from, when he was clearly leaving the scene. that guy would have been caught because it was a sloppy job, and he would have caught quite a bit of time for armed robbery, and absolutely nothing would have happened to the store manager. but no, he decided to run after this man and take his life.
but there is a commonality in these stories.
considering the sentences that all of these men should have gotten, respectively, they all got nothing, respectively. nothing. in two years, two lives have been taken senselessly and all the men doing the taking got were slaps on the wrist, if that. i know in the latter story, by the end, all charges were dropped. so clearly that means that something(s) is(are) wrong with the justice system and maybe, just maybe, that's where the adjustments need to be made. in both situations, i pray that all of the people affected find solace and comfort in knowing that everyone will answer to something bigger than all of us. everyone. and i will continue to pray the strength of all the families of lives lost.
and now that all of that is off my spirit... i can't wait to get my next kiss. :)
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