you know they love you. (by they, i mean the boys.) all your friends are them, all your family calls you one of em, every time you turn around you think you are one, or at least wonder why you think like one. they hold you down, and they build you up; they keep you sane, but they drive you mad... and you're great with it. you're all good for it. then you get older and you realize that being one of the guys was cool in high school. but now they want a girl, a wife, a woman, all the female things you're not used to. and then you have those feelings... those girl feelings. the ones that make you not one of the boys. and then you realize... you're always going to be one of the boys. they'll always see you that way. the ones that mean the most. they'll never see the woman you've blossomed into. they're never going to see you for the female that you are. and they will never see you for the full fledged woman you're going to become.
and maybe that isn't bad. because maybe they see you as one of the guys to set you higher than the rest of the girls. maybe even higher than the rest of the boys for that matter. but you don't have to challenge your sexuality, just your feelings. and theirs. its hard, and we all know its hard. call it a lady problem if you want to... but maybe we're the only ones that have it. and maybe we do need to let go to let them see. let them see who you are... who you really are. not just one of the guys. not just one of their guys. maybe we need to let go to let ourselves see who we really are.
and that's not just one of the guys.
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