broad topic for today... well... my next few posts are going to be about some deeper things... mainly just how to fuel the soul. so right now i want to talk about
spiritual completion: how it pertains to intra- and interpersonal relationships.
(i promise that this isn't a term paper.)
someone and i were having a wonderful conversation about our respective needs in our respective relationships with our respective partners, and it got me to thinking about how i have been maintaining relationships with people in my life right now. my life is changing. my views are changing. even the basic fabric of my core values are changing, as i feel like they're finally becoming my own. when i worked at old navy, i had a pretty good conversational relationship with one of my managers, and he said to me "your values, morals, and overall belief structure will change at least twice before you truly understand who you are", and it is quite true. i don't think that my overall belief structure has changed a whole hell of a lot, but it has. and some of the things that i valued the most when i was 17 don't matter as much now as they did then. but i digress... with these changes come new found responsibilities, and i feel as though i my soul reaches fulfillment in a whole different way now than i did then. i feel like the needs of my spirit have changed in the last 6 months, and they are different now than they were back in september. but all this comes back to something so small, but so large all at the same time, and that is self-awareness.
self-awareness has become a big thing in my life. i've spent so much time trying to make others happy and meet their needs, that in the process, i'd forgotten how to meet my own. so i had to take 5 steps backward and just see what was going on with me, and it's forced me to look deep inside myself and figure out not just how i can meet my own needs, but what my own needs really are. and something i truly, truly need is intimacy. not sex, not so much love either, just intimacy. i can't describe what i mean by that, but when the moment comes, i know it. i can feel it. at times, i crave it, and it can be a bit much. but let's be real... intimacy is bigger than sex. it's bigger than love. its a spiritual connection between two willing, mature individuals. i know myself and my needs- or at least i have a really good idea- and i think it matters. because in the process of learning myself and what i need from myself, i've learned what i truly need from others. which is great. it allows me to set expectations for the people in my life, but on a more personal level, because i want them to understand me almost the same way i feel that i understand them. i'm rambling now, but such is... getting back on topic.
if you know your own spirit, you know your place in this world, at least for the moment. you understand your needs, wants, and requirements from self and others. and that alone is what separates the spiritually mature from the immature; the spiritually strong from the weak; that knowledge and awareness is what makes you human. but what you do with that knowledge... that's what makes you better.
that's enough. more later.
tomorrow's topic: spiritual completion: finding fulfillment in the universe.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
ranting (not bad!)
i have to will myself to do something while i'm sick. i can't believe this is going to be it.
james mardsen is the most versatile actor ever. EVER. convince me otherwise if you'd like.
making the band 4 is the best show on television right now. its new drama every week. and i know its a reality show, but those post-production editors are just plain amazing. (sidenote: what ever happened to o-town?)
everyone is entitled to an off day. and at least once a week, a person should be in their zone. but every day cannot be an off day, and every day will not be a zone day. but everyday should be a good day. (sidebar: damn, i do NOT want to get up at 6 in the morning...)
i'm thinking of writing music again. just some chord changes and maybe some good lyrics. everything i've ever put together has been like program music. i think i just wanna jam out and record it or something. i'm so glad i passed that guitar off to alex. he's using it way more than i ever really did. plus i'm boug, and the thing made my fingers look like shit. can't have that.
anybody wanna get me a chi-sox and/or a bo-sox fitted? thanks.
spring is finally here!!! YAY! too bad its been raining all week, and it got warm today. (i have a mold allergy. yesterday and today i've been set up. crikey.)
time to sleep now. yay. i hope its cool out in the AM, so i don't have to feel worse. :-D
james mardsen is the most versatile actor ever. EVER. convince me otherwise if you'd like.
making the band 4 is the best show on television right now. its new drama every week. and i know its a reality show, but those post-production editors are just plain amazing. (sidenote: what ever happened to o-town?)
everyone is entitled to an off day. and at least once a week, a person should be in their zone. but every day cannot be an off day, and every day will not be a zone day. but everyday should be a good day. (sidebar: damn, i do NOT want to get up at 6 in the morning...)
i'm thinking of writing music again. just some chord changes and maybe some good lyrics. everything i've ever put together has been like program music. i think i just wanna jam out and record it or something. i'm so glad i passed that guitar off to alex. he's using it way more than i ever really did. plus i'm boug, and the thing made my fingers look like shit. can't have that.
anybody wanna get me a chi-sox and/or a bo-sox fitted? thanks.
spring is finally here!!! YAY! too bad its been raining all week, and it got warm today. (i have a mold allergy. yesterday and today i've been set up. crikey.)
time to sleep now. yay. i hope its cool out in the AM, so i don't have to feel worse. :-D
Thursday, March 26, 2009
bf vs. one nighter: what's the difference?
anna and i have a set crush (though we're not on his set) on this one particular theater major. we see him all the time, and he is so gorgeous. he makes us both turn into little school girls ("two little maids from school are we") and deep down... he's just a crush. nothing more, nothing less. but he is SUCH a nice guy. he is the guy i'd love to go on a date with, and he would appreciate going to see something smooth like a musical or an opera (probably a light opera, he is still a theater major) or going to a gallery and then having coffee. he's the type that you want to go on a grown up date with, which in my eyes makes him the boyfriend type. and i LOVE that. love.
so what makes a guy the boyfriend type? (to me)
first of all... the last place i want to meet him is in the club. not pushing aside the bar, but that's not the optimal circumstance. i meet all kinds of people every day. and in the past year, i've met 2 guys that are what i would consider boyfriend material. one, i just spoke of, and i met him on the way to school one day- the same school he attends!- and the other, i met at church/work. and that's fine, i'm not saying that he would be some horrible guy if i met him at the club, but usually, they want one good thing. that's it. and whether they're honest or not is something that you're usually not gonna find out until they get what they want... but i digress, that's a topic we'll get to later.
second: boyfriend types are the kinda that don't want to be friends with benefits. they want to be friends, but they understand that there's a difference between being friends and being together. and there is. there's a huge difference. i have lots of male friends. i always have. i have had 2 boyfriends in my life. 2. because those kids knew the difference. there's a bond that comes with being more than friends... and you can't go backward on that. my ex was my best friend and my boyfriend, because we had to be that close. we couldn't help it. it just happened. so when we broke up... i couldn't just be his friend. we didn't start that way. but such is. boyfriends you can date; you're not questioning yourself about letting him meet your family and friends; you're completely okay with just about every facet of your relatioship.
and then.... there's the one nighter. he's good for the night. that's how it started, that's probably how its gonna end. take it there. i hope its good. bump that, i hope its better.
that's cool though, to each his/her own.
its still early. time for a pedi, some tunes, and some skate. yayzers. :)
so what makes a guy the boyfriend type? (to me)
first of all... the last place i want to meet him is in the club. not pushing aside the bar, but that's not the optimal circumstance. i meet all kinds of people every day. and in the past year, i've met 2 guys that are what i would consider boyfriend material. one, i just spoke of, and i met him on the way to school one day- the same school he attends!- and the other, i met at church/work. and that's fine, i'm not saying that he would be some horrible guy if i met him at the club, but usually, they want one good thing. that's it. and whether they're honest or not is something that you're usually not gonna find out until they get what they want... but i digress, that's a topic we'll get to later.
second: boyfriend types are the kinda that don't want to be friends with benefits. they want to be friends, but they understand that there's a difference between being friends and being together. and there is. there's a huge difference. i have lots of male friends. i always have. i have had 2 boyfriends in my life. 2. because those kids knew the difference. there's a bond that comes with being more than friends... and you can't go backward on that. my ex was my best friend and my boyfriend, because we had to be that close. we couldn't help it. it just happened. so when we broke up... i couldn't just be his friend. we didn't start that way. but such is. boyfriends you can date; you're not questioning yourself about letting him meet your family and friends; you're completely okay with just about every facet of your relatioship.
and then.... there's the one nighter. he's good for the night. that's how it started, that's probably how its gonna end. take it there. i hope its good. bump that, i hope its better.
that's cool though, to each his/her own.
its still early. time for a pedi, some tunes, and some skate. yayzers. :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
daily. [vol 1, iss. 2]
the goal as of late has been to not linger on negative things. letting things go has always been an issue for me... its time. and i'm putting it in writing because if i truly let it off, i'll be fine. but if i don't make it real and make it known how i feel and how i felt at those respective moments, i'll never be able to detach myself from the negative energy that those feelings bring. i'll start where it matters.
2007 was a shitty year, probably shittier than '08. thanks for the good memories. but... the betrayal, the belittling, the hurt feelings... they should be addressed. florida was wonderful, but florida was horrible. i had fun 1 day. one. i won't get into details, but i have to make myself let go of that trip. period. real friends don't do that.. any of that. there is so much more that i would love to tell you. each of you. but i will tuck that all away, close the door, and let go of that love. and though i forgive you, respectively, i'm definitely over it. thanks for the memories. and yes, i'm over it.
2008 was totally 808s and heartbreaks all around. if you weren't there for my birthday- the most important birthday i've ever had- or my opera- the most IMPORTANT thing i have ever done. EVER- i didn't forget. i didn't forget any of it. i accepted people's reasons but deep down they were all just excuses. all of them. because i was there for all of my friends. all of them, no matter what. if you have seen 27 dresses, i am that girl. i am "jane". period. i just hope that should anything significant ever happen to me, all the people i was once there for will all be there for me when i need it most. that opera was like my child, that was a huge thing for me, and no one was there. no one. not one. did i mention no one? no one! holy shit, all i wanted was 2 hours of your time. 2. dos. deux. due. i didn't know that was such a hassle... i put 16 weeks of my life into that... it was cats out here wanting me to go to their probates and whatnot, and they know they were on all semester and they wanted to be recognized for their decisions and choices. i was the same. i put my everything into something i'm planning on devoting at least a facet of my life to, for an entire semester. you could make it to a probate that you had to stand for 2.5 hours to barely see, but you couldn't make it to a chair that was free for vcu students and paid for if you weren't in a comfortably air conditioned auditorium? yea... thanks. thanks for not being there for the biggest moment of my entire life. shitty times. its a really lonely feeling to walk out to greet the crowds and see so few familiar faces. and thanks to ALL of you for contributing to that. there are so many other things... the disrespectful things that made me compromise my values to maintain relationships... i can't do that anymore. no more. so this is my final warning: i can't take it anymore, and if you hurt my feelings and i take a week away from you, that week will turn into our lifetime. and if you don't like it, blame the losers that made me never want to trust anyone again. and NO i will not go into detail about anything, because the people i'm talking to will know who they are...
but i digress.
in other news... i was out skating today (if you wanna call what i was doing skating), clearing my head. and things were going quite well! {update: for my 22nd birthday, i skipped town for the weekend. went to love in dc; hot times. got back to where i was staying, slept for like an hour, then got up, had a cigarette and another drink, and went outside to learn to skate. i had never stepped on a board before that day. "doesn't count until sunrise." and let me just say, there is absolutely nowhere else i would have rather been than in that moment, on the tennis court, standing on a board in the presence of one of the greatest individuals to ever grace my life. that moment was just symbolic of so many different things in so many different ways... ways that i will not elaborate on because that person already knows... but i digress.} i didn't fall a lot today. only twice, once wasn't too bad cause i never hit the ground but the second time... that was rough. i landed on my left side, so now they are even. {i busted my ass really hard sunday. pulled muscles, possibly a sprained right wrist- it still hurts to bend- and just overall body tenderness. ick.} but... i coasted!!! seemed like almost 25ft before i hit a rock and had to make a run for it. (rocks are death, i thought i was going to die.) and i know 25ft isn't far, but i coasted. and i've only been doing this for 3 days. so i wanna pat myself on the back some... but whatever. there's still tomorrow and i still need to get the hang of turning more before i lose what i learned. alex is a great source for tips, that guy should write a book on technique. "skateboard pedagogy: the art of teaching the board." (don't run with that, just give me tips. we're in a recession and i can't afford to pay royalties.)
i found my music books, they were next to my dunks. all these things are signs of things yet to come.
SONGS for the night:
corinne bailey rae - "breathless"
adele - "chasing pavement"
::^those brits sure do know how to speak to a girl's heart^::
and the ALBUM that goes in between...
kanye west - 808s
::yea, i'm cliche, so what.::
my spirit is lots more free. i can't wait til "the garden south of the nile" is more than hermes.
{free song for the person that can tell me what that means}
2007 was a shitty year, probably shittier than '08. thanks for the good memories. but... the betrayal, the belittling, the hurt feelings... they should be addressed. florida was wonderful, but florida was horrible. i had fun 1 day. one. i won't get into details, but i have to make myself let go of that trip. period. real friends don't do that.. any of that. there is so much more that i would love to tell you. each of you. but i will tuck that all away, close the door, and let go of that love. and though i forgive you, respectively, i'm definitely over it. thanks for the memories. and yes, i'm over it.
2008 was totally 808s and heartbreaks all around. if you weren't there for my birthday- the most important birthday i've ever had- or my opera- the most IMPORTANT thing i have ever done. EVER- i didn't forget. i didn't forget any of it. i accepted people's reasons but deep down they were all just excuses. all of them. because i was there for all of my friends. all of them, no matter what. if you have seen 27 dresses, i am that girl. i am "jane". period. i just hope that should anything significant ever happen to me, all the people i was once there for will all be there for me when i need it most. that opera was like my child, that was a huge thing for me, and no one was there. no one. not one. did i mention no one? no one! holy shit, all i wanted was 2 hours of your time. 2. dos. deux. due. i didn't know that was such a hassle... i put 16 weeks of my life into that... it was cats out here wanting me to go to their probates and whatnot, and they know they were on all semester and they wanted to be recognized for their decisions and choices. i was the same. i put my everything into something i'm planning on devoting at least a facet of my life to, for an entire semester. you could make it to a probate that you had to stand for 2.5 hours to barely see, but you couldn't make it to a chair that was free for vcu students and paid for if you weren't in a comfortably air conditioned auditorium? yea... thanks. thanks for not being there for the biggest moment of my entire life. shitty times. its a really lonely feeling to walk out to greet the crowds and see so few familiar faces. and thanks to ALL of you for contributing to that. there are so many other things... the disrespectful things that made me compromise my values to maintain relationships... i can't do that anymore. no more. so this is my final warning: i can't take it anymore, and if you hurt my feelings and i take a week away from you, that week will turn into our lifetime. and if you don't like it, blame the losers that made me never want to trust anyone again. and NO i will not go into detail about anything, because the people i'm talking to will know who they are...
but i digress.
in other news... i was out skating today (if you wanna call what i was doing skating), clearing my head. and things were going quite well! {update: for my 22nd birthday, i skipped town for the weekend. went to love in dc; hot times. got back to where i was staying, slept for like an hour, then got up, had a cigarette and another drink, and went outside to learn to skate. i had never stepped on a board before that day. "doesn't count until sunrise." and let me just say, there is absolutely nowhere else i would have rather been than in that moment, on the tennis court, standing on a board in the presence of one of the greatest individuals to ever grace my life. that moment was just symbolic of so many different things in so many different ways... ways that i will not elaborate on because that person already knows... but i digress.} i didn't fall a lot today. only twice, once wasn't too bad cause i never hit the ground but the second time... that was rough. i landed on my left side, so now they are even. {i busted my ass really hard sunday. pulled muscles, possibly a sprained right wrist- it still hurts to bend- and just overall body tenderness. ick.} but... i coasted!!! seemed like almost 25ft before i hit a rock and had to make a run for it. (rocks are death, i thought i was going to die.) and i know 25ft isn't far, but i coasted. and i've only been doing this for 3 days. so i wanna pat myself on the back some... but whatever. there's still tomorrow and i still need to get the hang of turning more before i lose what i learned. alex is a great source for tips, that guy should write a book on technique. "skateboard pedagogy: the art of teaching the board." (don't run with that, just give me tips. we're in a recession and i can't afford to pay royalties.)
i found my music books, they were next to my dunks. all these things are signs of things yet to come.
SONGS for the night:
corinne bailey rae - "breathless"
adele - "chasing pavement"
::^those brits sure do know how to speak to a girl's heart^::
and the ALBUM that goes in between...
kanye west - 808s
::yea, i'm cliche, so what.::
my spirit is lots more free. i can't wait til "the garden south of the nile" is more than hermes.
{free song for the person that can tell me what that means}
music for the remainder of today:
corinne bailey rae. - self titled.
diplomats of solid sound. - the new EP i can't think of the name.
james morrison. - all of it.
robin thicke. - evolution.
lloyd. - all of it.
joe. - ain't nothing like me.
the beatles - revolver.
the white stripes - icky thump.
john legend - once again.
incubus - science.
aside from the first, it's a man date. yepp. let's do it. <3
diplomats of solid sound. - the new EP i can't think of the name.
james morrison. - all of it.
robin thicke. - evolution.
lloyd. - all of it.
joe. - ain't nothing like me.
the beatles - revolver.
the white stripes - icky thump.
john legend - once again.
incubus - science.
aside from the first, it's a man date. yepp. let's do it. <3
nothing good has come up yet...
i have so many things planned for today.
i hate only having one whole day off...
today is not it!!!
i need to go brave the cold,
clean out my car and get a workout in.
i need to take my clothes to the mat too. badly.
day 3 of the detox has just begun.
i'm having really nervous energy.
when i get home after church later,
i'm gonna clean my room.
i'm having this strong urge for breakfast food,
but i really need to detox and stay true to this food plan.
no bs.
ughhh! 'tis cold!!!
4 hours! oy!
how much can i get done in that time?
i hate only having one whole day off...
today is not it!!!
i need to go brave the cold,
clean out my car and get a workout in.
i need to take my clothes to the mat too. badly.
day 3 of the detox has just begun.
i'm having really nervous energy.
when i get home after church later,
i'm gonna clean my room.
i'm having this strong urge for breakfast food,
but i really need to detox and stay true to this food plan.
no bs.
ughhh! 'tis cold!!!
4 hours! oy!
how much can i get done in that time?
background.
i tend to get into writing really fast and then i give absolutely no background information so that it can be seen where my perspective is being derived from. and i completely appologize for that.
i am a 22 year old black woman. there's a lot of things that i am, but that's what i identify with. i do not capitalize anything but God. (nothing comes higher.) i like to write. its an emotional therapy for me. sometimes its prose, sometimes its not. either way, its writing and that is what counts. i love music. i'd like to call myself a musician but i can't rightfully say that i am anymore. i'm just some girl that really likes singing. i wear a lot of my emotions on my sleeve. i have been a product consultant and makeup artist for about a year now. those are some master classes i cannot WAIT to take. my best friends are males, growing into beautiful men. i'm madly in love with the most honest man in the entire world. or maybe he's just a beautiful liar and this is a twisted nightmare. it matters but it doesn't. he'll probably be the subject of a couple of these. i have been having this lifelong battle with my self-image and my weight. i've noticed that the better i feel about myself, the slimmer i get. i'm finally getting comfortable in the skin i'm in... so its easier to let the extra skin go. i write what i feel, and i do not appologize for it. if you would like to express like or dislike, feel free to comment or email me. (vic.i.will@gmail.com) sometimes i need a little food for thought. deep down, i want to smile all the time. and i'll do a lot to ensure that. but i want the people in my life that matter to smile more, sometimes more than i. you'll see all of this. just keep reading...
i am a 22 year old black woman. there's a lot of things that i am, but that's what i identify with. i do not capitalize anything but God. (nothing comes higher.) i like to write. its an emotional therapy for me. sometimes its prose, sometimes its not. either way, its writing and that is what counts. i love music. i'd like to call myself a musician but i can't rightfully say that i am anymore. i'm just some girl that really likes singing. i wear a lot of my emotions on my sleeve. i have been a product consultant and makeup artist for about a year now. those are some master classes i cannot WAIT to take. my best friends are males, growing into beautiful men. i'm madly in love with the most honest man in the entire world. or maybe he's just a beautiful liar and this is a twisted nightmare. it matters but it doesn't. he'll probably be the subject of a couple of these. i have been having this lifelong battle with my self-image and my weight. i've noticed that the better i feel about myself, the slimmer i get. i'm finally getting comfortable in the skin i'm in... so its easier to let the extra skin go. i write what i feel, and i do not appologize for it. if you would like to express like or dislike, feel free to comment or email me. (vic.i.will@gmail.com) sometimes i need a little food for thought. deep down, i want to smile all the time. and i'll do a lot to ensure that. but i want the people in my life that matter to smile more, sometimes more than i. you'll see all of this. just keep reading...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
::daily thoughts and ramblings::things that get on my nerves
the justice system is messed up on all levels; local, state, and federal. there are plenty of innocent people in jail, and more importantly, lots of shitty, guilty people walking around free because they weren't convicted of crimes they committed.
first of all, there is absolutely no reason that ANYONE should be acquitted, charged with involuntary manslaughter (self-defense), or any misdemeanor for murdering or raping anyone. that is my stance, and i'm not going to veer from that. so, i'm kicking it yesterday, still trying to wear off the weekend, and one of my friends tells me that the parrish boys were charged with involuntary manslaughter and assault and battery in the shooting death of tahleik taliaferro. those charges were downgraded from first degree murder and attempted murder. (for those of you that have not been following this story, taliaferro got into a verbal altercation with joey parrish. [the rest of this is from what i understand from reading stories and following it on the news.] after the argument, the boys were going to fight it out, but i guess something happened and the parrish boys were feeling extremely threatened. [i say extremely threatened because there is no way i could go around taking lives if i didn't feel as though someone was going to take mine.] in the process of feeling threatened, while taliaferro was walking away, joey parrish's cousin, ethan, shot taliaferro and another teen. the parrish boys admitted to shooting taliaferro, but in self-defense because taliaferro "was going to kill them" during this fight that apparently they suggested.) so... explain to me this: you get into a argument with someone over whatever the hell, lets say a love interest. so post this argument, you decide you're going to duke it out, like some champs. and you've got your people there to back you up, and so does your opponent. but the difference between you and your opponent is the people backing you up are human beings, and your opponent's people are smaller in number, but they have semi-automatic rifles, shotguns, and handguns, something your people don't have. now let's be honest. if you had that much heat on you at one time, you had planned or were planning on putting a hot one in somebody. period. nobody carries that many pieces just to defend themselves. no fucking way. i don't get that. and more importantly: since when can you claim self-defense when you shot someone in the back of their head? why are you allowed to claim self-defense for shooting someone in the back of their anything? if my back is turned to you, especially if you see me walking, running, or somehow moving away from you unarmed, and you fucking shoot me in the back of my goddamn head, i do not understand how in the FUCK you can claim self-defense? let that guy kick the shit out of you, get a couple licks in, and make sure that you have his ass sent to jail. not to make it seem like its all the deceased fault, but if it were, from what i understand... he had a full ride to BC. if it were all his fault, and you just let him beat your ass, he would have lost that. completely. he would have lost out on 5 good years of his life. the most you would have had was the pain in the ass of filing the police report and whatever bumps and/or bruises you incurred from the fight. but NO joey and ethan parrish, you decided to take the "high road" and let your guns make your decision for you. it is NOT justice that you are losing 11-16 years of your lives, respectively, and tahleik taliaferro lost his LIFE. yea, his life. all of it. you take a life, you should lose your own.
so what is wrong with this? little picture says that the parrishes got off for a crime that they did commit. the bigger picture is that our justice system is fucked, mainly on the state level. this is not the first, but the second time that the commonwealth's attorney has either dismissed or accepted lesser charges for crimes that were blatantly murder. back in 2007, there was a shooting here in richmond, as a cause of a robbery. there is a law in this commonwealth that states that you may not use a firearm to protect property not belonging to yourself, so if someone comes into your place of employment and tries to rob you, though you feel that it is self-defense, you may not shoot someone to protect your place of business. that incident involved the robber being shot at and leaving the store and the store manager running out after him, which resulted in the death of the robber. being that i worked in that store, it did make me feel fine to know that someone who attempted to rob us at gunpoint wouldn't be able to repeat that, but it did make me very angry that the store manager was able to completely leave the store to run after the assailant and proceed to shoot him in the back and the sides, injuries that the robber died from, when he was clearly leaving the scene. that guy would have been caught because it was a sloppy job, and he would have caught quite a bit of time for armed robbery, and absolutely nothing would have happened to the store manager. but no, he decided to run after this man and take his life.
but there is a commonality in these stories.
considering the sentences that all of these men should have gotten, respectively, they all got nothing, respectively. nothing. in two years, two lives have been taken senselessly and all the men doing the taking got were slaps on the wrist, if that. i know in the latter story, by the end, all charges were dropped. so clearly that means that something(s) is(are) wrong with the justice system and maybe, just maybe, that's where the adjustments need to be made. in both situations, i pray that all of the people affected find solace and comfort in knowing that everyone will answer to something bigger than all of us. everyone. and i will continue to pray the strength of all the families of lives lost.
and now that all of that is off my spirit... i can't wait to get my next kiss. :)
first of all, there is absolutely no reason that ANYONE should be acquitted, charged with involuntary manslaughter (self-defense), or any misdemeanor for murdering or raping anyone. that is my stance, and i'm not going to veer from that. so, i'm kicking it yesterday, still trying to wear off the weekend, and one of my friends tells me that the parrish boys were charged with involuntary manslaughter and assault and battery in the shooting death of tahleik taliaferro. those charges were downgraded from first degree murder and attempted murder. (for those of you that have not been following this story, taliaferro got into a verbal altercation with joey parrish. [the rest of this is from what i understand from reading stories and following it on the news.] after the argument, the boys were going to fight it out, but i guess something happened and the parrish boys were feeling extremely threatened. [i say extremely threatened because there is no way i could go around taking lives if i didn't feel as though someone was going to take mine.] in the process of feeling threatened, while taliaferro was walking away, joey parrish's cousin, ethan, shot taliaferro and another teen. the parrish boys admitted to shooting taliaferro, but in self-defense because taliaferro "was going to kill them" during this fight that apparently they suggested.) so... explain to me this: you get into a argument with someone over whatever the hell, lets say a love interest. so post this argument, you decide you're going to duke it out, like some champs. and you've got your people there to back you up, and so does your opponent. but the difference between you and your opponent is the people backing you up are human beings, and your opponent's people are smaller in number, but they have semi-automatic rifles, shotguns, and handguns, something your people don't have. now let's be honest. if you had that much heat on you at one time, you had planned or were planning on putting a hot one in somebody. period. nobody carries that many pieces just to defend themselves. no fucking way. i don't get that. and more importantly: since when can you claim self-defense when you shot someone in the back of their head? why are you allowed to claim self-defense for shooting someone in the back of their anything? if my back is turned to you, especially if you see me walking, running, or somehow moving away from you unarmed, and you fucking shoot me in the back of my goddamn head, i do not understand how in the FUCK you can claim self-defense? let that guy kick the shit out of you, get a couple licks in, and make sure that you have his ass sent to jail. not to make it seem like its all the deceased fault, but if it were, from what i understand... he had a full ride to BC. if it were all his fault, and you just let him beat your ass, he would have lost that. completely. he would have lost out on 5 good years of his life. the most you would have had was the pain in the ass of filing the police report and whatever bumps and/or bruises you incurred from the fight. but NO joey and ethan parrish, you decided to take the "high road" and let your guns make your decision for you. it is NOT justice that you are losing 11-16 years of your lives, respectively, and tahleik taliaferro lost his LIFE. yea, his life. all of it. you take a life, you should lose your own.
so what is wrong with this? little picture says that the parrishes got off for a crime that they did commit. the bigger picture is that our justice system is fucked, mainly on the state level. this is not the first, but the second time that the commonwealth's attorney has either dismissed or accepted lesser charges for crimes that were blatantly murder. back in 2007, there was a shooting here in richmond, as a cause of a robbery. there is a law in this commonwealth that states that you may not use a firearm to protect property not belonging to yourself, so if someone comes into your place of employment and tries to rob you, though you feel that it is self-defense, you may not shoot someone to protect your place of business. that incident involved the robber being shot at and leaving the store and the store manager running out after him, which resulted in the death of the robber. being that i worked in that store, it did make me feel fine to know that someone who attempted to rob us at gunpoint wouldn't be able to repeat that, but it did make me very angry that the store manager was able to completely leave the store to run after the assailant and proceed to shoot him in the back and the sides, injuries that the robber died from, when he was clearly leaving the scene. that guy would have been caught because it was a sloppy job, and he would have caught quite a bit of time for armed robbery, and absolutely nothing would have happened to the store manager. but no, he decided to run after this man and take his life.
but there is a commonality in these stories.
considering the sentences that all of these men should have gotten, respectively, they all got nothing, respectively. nothing. in two years, two lives have been taken senselessly and all the men doing the taking got were slaps on the wrist, if that. i know in the latter story, by the end, all charges were dropped. so clearly that means that something(s) is(are) wrong with the justice system and maybe, just maybe, that's where the adjustments need to be made. in both situations, i pray that all of the people affected find solace and comfort in knowing that everyone will answer to something bigger than all of us. everyone. and i will continue to pray the strength of all the families of lives lost.
and now that all of that is off my spirit... i can't wait to get my next kiss. :)
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